for the past 10 years it's been 10x worse. i'm so scared of sayihg anything around people and usually just "fake" being normal. i've been traumatized by being myself around people in the past, so that nowadays i very carefully watch everything i want to say............and then mayyyy or may Not say it. so now, i have a hard time relaxing around people, even though i may look "normal". so i get very little joy from being around people........but i AM a somewhat social being, so i Do want to hang around with them in the first place!
life sucks!