IN A MESS

[sandy40]

Imscared ive got lung cancer or cancer in my back..ive been thinking ive cancer somewhere since July..my upper back is sore and i feel something is crawling up my back..my neck is sore too...im not coughing up anything but have a dry cough..my breathing is ok..i dont want to die yet,i cant stop crying and my hands shake all the time..ive been diagnosed with gastritis and i think ive IBS and my colonosopy showed nothing but my bowel contracts fast,my bloods were normal on the 9th nov,im in a mess.

[Captain Caveman]

Hi Sandy. Funny you should mention the upper back, coz the last few days I too have had a sore upper back. In the past, I would have run to the docs and be googling left right and centre. But now that I'm better, I am just carrying on with my day and not getting caught up with catastrophy type thinking. I know it's hard to let go and take whatever risk there is that it COULD be something serious, but you know obviously only too well how difficult life can be if you keep looking up things and seeking reassurance etc.. It's a viscious cycle. But you can break the cycle though

[sandy40]

Hi thanks for your reply,how do i break this cycle? the top half of my arms are heavy my asrms/hands seem to have a constant tremour..is it really stress and worry?

[Captain Caveman]

Hi. I'm half asleep, but I'll try and make some sense. You break the cycle by gradually not keep adding fuel to the fire by getting caught up with catastrophic thoughts. Constantly seeking reassurance from docs and others is something to cut back on. I know full well that this is easier said than done. Change is scary and your brain is resistant to it. It's a 2 step forward, 1 step back deal. Recovering by letting go of your fears and accepting whatever possibility there is of your fear being true, will cause a lot of uncomortable feelings for you. But the more you practice letting go and not getting caught up with catastrophy thinking, seeking reassurance from every Tom Dick and Harry, and other unhelpful avoidance type strategies, the better off you will be in the long run. Personally, I found I got to the stage where I would rather take the risk that such and such could be cancer etc.. rather than getting caught up with the same old cycle. It's exhausting work letting go and facing your fears. But the reward is worth it.

[sandy40]

Its scary though..im scared that if i dont see my Gp then if its cancer then it might be too late when its found..since July ive has a pelvic and abdomen ultrasound,upper scope/lower scope and bloods done twice also inflammation blood makers done,all fine,im scared to let go,incase i leave my kids without a mum...im on antidepressants,i feel movements in my upper back..like a crawling under the skin feeling..could that be muscle twitching or just nerves..

[Captain Caveman]

Hi Sandy. It sure is scary. It's terrifying early one to not be able to be 100% sure about things. It's difficult to decide when to take a risk or when to go to the docs. These days, unless I am bleeding out the eyeballs or something to that sort of extreme, I will not worry about things. The below article which describes Health Anxiety and treatment mentions the following:

"Exposure therapy is a set of techniques designed to help correct mistaken beliefs. For hypochondriasis, exposure involves gradually confronting the situations and bodily sensations that that person avoids because of the fear of illness. During exposure, patients also learn to tolerate uncertainty about whether or not a sensation is really a symptom. Even though at first, people become anxious when they do exposure practice, the distress is temporary—it subsides by a process called habituation. As a result of habituation, the person learns that they do not need to fear these situations and sensations because their distress does not go on forever." http://www.ocdchicago.org/images/uploads/pdf/EP13.pdf

BTW, my back pain has now subsided. I didn't get over anxoius about it or anything these last few days and now all is well. This new mentality though took me years to develop. But like I say, persitence pays. You can do it Sandy