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Thread: retired santa seeks.......

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    1,260

    retired santa seeks.......

    Retired father christmas, own sleigh, freezer full of reindeer, seeks
    women to jingle his bells through the winter.
    Hobbies are sitting at the computer typing out wanted ads, crocheting tea cozies,
    and making little origami figures in the shape of ex BBC newreaders.
    Must have good sense of humour, a well thumbed book of the kama sutra and an IQ higher than their shoe size (negotiable)
    Please send email address, photo, a cheque for 250, and a recent DNA test certificate.
    If you can't meet the above requirements, proof of a pulse will be be enough.
    Please write soon as my medication is being stopped after christmas.
    Mick
    x
    PS: Trucker Jim, you are excluded from replying to this, and please stop
    the late night phone calls.
    __________________
    Never trust a man, who when left alone in a room with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    3,131

    Re: retired santa seeks.......

    Dear Mick, You just cheer me up no end. Wish I could be of service, Having a hard time at moment,but hopefully get over it.as well as that my landline phone is out of order.not that we have many phone calls.I have a mobile tho. Bin up all night with dog who is older than me. I have put my nmp on while deciding which job to tackle first and saw your post and a feel calmer now. I wish we had more people on nmp like you.
    I can't understand why my landline phone is out of order cos my internet is conected and computer worrks!!!!!
    Bye for now
    Take care
    __________________
    Magic

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    3,023

    Re: retired santa seeks.......

    LMAO

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    2,404

    Re: retired santa seeks.......

    Hello Mick....

    Blimey, how nice that you share the same hobbies with moi....

    Exhibit 1 - Well, it is Xmas so I pushed the boat out with this one....


    ....and Exhibit 2 - this is my latest origami creation in the image of Angela Rippon...



    (Your posts are great MickX)
    Last edited by debs71; 21-12-10 at 15:09.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    1,092

    Re: retired santa seeks.......

    Good to see you again Mick...and if i wasn't already living with a crazy person...though he would of course say its the other way around...I would've indeed answered your ad and requested an interview

    Anna x

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    415

    Re: retired santa seeks.......

    I cant find me pulse so i will have to pass up this offer!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    13,543

    Re: retired santa seeks.......

    Mick

    Be still me beating heart and my irregular pulse.



    Ps.

    Remember to put the bins out and give Rudolph his flea treatment please.

    pps.

    Can you nip out to the elf licence and pick me up my usual tonic? my shebutt is full of hemorrohroids again. You will insist i sit on that cold sleigh of an evening.

    ppps

    Can you please stop eating as many pies, you are letting off the most lethal radiation in your sleep and poor tiddles has taken to sleeping beside Trevor the trumper just to get some fresh air.

    Goodnight poppet, see ya in the morning with your usual 'well flamed kippers, poached eggs with toasted reindeer dropping on rye

    xxx
    __________________
    "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice". Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself and you won't go far wrong.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    1,260

    Re: retired santa seeks.......

    And you lot think I'm mad !


    ps: Christmas offer: Two days only: don't want to seem desperate but even the pulse is not compulsory now
    __________________
    Never trust a man, who when left alone in a room with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    13,543

    Re: retired santa seeks.......

    __________________
    "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice". Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself and you won't go far wrong.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    1,260

    Re: retired santa seeks.......

    and by the way trucker Jim, sending me those photos is not going to change my mind (not unless i get a better offer anyway)
    __________________
    Never trust a man, who when left alone in a room with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on

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