Scared to go home?

[Kieran]

Hi guys. Just looking for a bit of friendly advice

I've not been home for around 6 months due to a combination of Uni and work. Going home for Christmas and I'm starting to worry a little.

I had been doing great with the old anxiety problems until recently, when my prescription was delayed and I was without my meds for around 4 days.

The period of coming off them and going back on them has caused me to take a step back.

The positives are, that in that time I have come through several shifts at work without any issues, and also produced a presentation at Uni to a good standard.

But I just got a text from a mate at home saying we're all meeting for Curry & Quiz night at the pub on Thursday.

My brain immediately went to thinking of excuses

If you've read all this, thanks, and sorry for the essay haha.

Any advice would be brilliant and much appreciated

Kieran x

[Going home]

Hi Kieran and first off, you havent written an essay, just your thoughts and worries which is fine. I don't know your background or about life with your family at home but it sounds to me as if you've found your safe place actually away from home which is a turn around for alot of younger posters here and well done you for turning your uni experience into a positive one. You are obviously also sensible about your meds so i take my hat off to you for that too.

I think that being away from home and has meant you have been in control of your life and can make all the decisions about what you do, when and where, and now you feel that going back into your home enviroment with your old friends is taking away a bit of that control...as if they are going to be controlling what you do and thats uncomfortable for you. You might not want the old life back and it will take time to get back into it for a short time. But because it is only for a short time i'm sure you will get through it.

I know its not good to tell lies, but little white ones don't really count, so if you feel that you really cannot join in with whatever your friends have lined up, then perhaps because their plans are short notice for you, you could maybe tell them you're getting over a cold or something and don't feel strong enough to go to the pub. Then in 2011 you will get yourself together and by this time next year you will know what you want and where you are going a bit more.

Anna xx

[Kieran]

Thanks for the reply Anna, and thanks for the positivity too

I do like being in control of my own life, and being away from home. I broke out of a 'comfort zone' - if you will - and made lots of new friends and basically a new life.

It's almost like going home is going back to live under someone elses roof and someone elses rules. The little things like what I have for tea, you know? I decide that here, what and when I want to have dinner. At home that's done for me.

I guess I'm just a bit anxious about having a change in my routine, but I'm still quite looking forward to seeing everyone.

Having been away for so long will give me plenty to talk about, so I might just talk 'at' people until I calm down and the anx goes away haha.

[Going home]

You're doing really well Kieran, despite your anxieties...be proud of yourself, and have a really good Christmas and New year, you deserve it. Once you get back with the old mates you'll be ok i'm sure

Anna x

[Kieran]

My Dad ran me when I was on the train on the way home and was asking me about something to do with Student Finance.

I'm actually wracked with guilt now and I felt so anxious when I got home, had to force my dinner down.

Hate anxiety haha

[cherbear32]

bless you kieran - you little ha ha after hate anxiety made me smile

[Kieran]

Going into town today. I see that as the first step. Supposed to be going out for some food and a pub quiz tonight. Hope I can make it 'cos I'd love to see everyone.

Can't even explain the anxiety, it's just there.