failed! But maybe this was for a reason

[Granny Primark]

Well as many of you know ive been struggling to cope and used alcohol as a crutch.
I did detox but I only coped for 2 days.
I was offered counselling and that started yesterday.
2 hours of counselling with my hubby present has made me realise that it was wishful thinking to think I could cope without my crutch. Which tbh has only been my crutch for a short while.
Peter my counsellor made me realise that im not a bad person but just a person that has bottled things up and never seeked the help I should have had a few years ago.
Ive been offered accupuntior, cbt and lots more support.
Ive always been the kind of person that if im not worried about something im worried.
Im going accept everything thats offered.
For over 25 years I was a carer both on the community and in nursing homes.
I need to be needed if that makes sense.
God willing I can beat this addiction to my crutch.
Ive told Peter all about nmp and he was amazed. Hes now going to recommend the site to others.
This site has been my lifeline.
If your reading this nic or any of the mods and the people that continue to support me i just want to say a huge thank you and I hope you have a brill xmas.

[mick_uk]

As bailys just said, I don't think you've failed at all granny.
Keep on going in the new year, you'll get there

[ditzygirl]

Granny - you will get through this, you will see.

Isnt it amazing how a councellor can make everything seem different?

Xmas is a tough time to cope so don't worry if you have a little blip, 2011 is the year you ditch your crutch and I beat anxiety!!! We can do this!!

And you are right about this site, its an amazing support tool and thankyou to Nic and the admin team.

Merry Xmas sweetie and be kind to yourselfxx

[bottleblond]

Lynn you have not failed at all hun.
It's early days and these things take a wee bit of time. Please don't think you have failed. You have been doing really well so that to me is a success. We are all allowed wee slips, just pick yourself back up, brush yourself down and say ok NEXT!!!

You keep your chin up gal and have a lovely christmas.

Love and hugs to you
Lisa
xxxx

[JaneC]

Rome wasn't built in a day Lynn. Hope you have a good Christmas and that you achieve your goals in 2011 xxx

[t0rt01se36]

I agree with ditzygirl. Lynn I too thought it was mad to detox, just before Christmas, but it's not your fault.

Hope in 2011 you make a good recovery and I am so pleased that you'll be receiving support.

Merry Christmas Lynn.

[Nigel]

Hi Lynn,

I’m very cross with you...
Cross for using the ‘F’ word

Failing is what happens when a person gives up trying.
I see a person who is still trying very hard

You’re probably right when you compare alcohol to a crutch. And what does a crutch do? It offers a person support. Say they have a broken leg. If you take away their crutch they stumble and fall. They cannot manage until they either pick it up again or find some other means of support. Better the devil you know...

I think you knew my friend Karen. Different issues, but Karen’s eating disorder was her way of coping. At one time she was seeing a private therapist and they were working on the idea of ‘managing’ the eating disorder. Not giving it up because she could see how much Karen relied on it, but to manage it and keep in control of it so as to avoid another hospital stay.

Do you think something similar could be the way forward for you too? For now, learn to ‘manage’ the problem while finding some better coping strategies. A bit like healing the broken leg so that the crutch is no longer needed...

Take care
Nigel

[Granny Primark]

Oh nigel your reply bought tears to my eyes.
I was so lucky to have met karen. She was someone very special.
She was so very caring and supportive and i will always miss her. When i first saw her i wanted give her a huge hug, but she seemed so frail.
I just wish we could have lived closer cus i would have loved to have met her more times and given her support.
Thank you for your support. xx

[alias_kev]

Hey Granny,

Keep on battling, we've all needed you and your support at one time or another. Now is a time to accept some back. Thinking of you.

Kevin.

[Nigel]

Hi Lynn,

Sorry if I made you cry. I hope they were tears in a good way. We were only friends but I too miss her greatly. I think many people do. You’re right, she was ‘someone very special’.

Hope things are still going well for you. I sometimes think of making progress is like watching the tide come in. How there's one big wave that surges up the beach then it seems to go backwards again. Smaller waves that never quite make it as far. Then there’s another big one that pushes further than the previous one, followed by more smaller ones. But although not surging as far, they don’t recede as far as the previous ones did. Then another surge forward once more.

It’s not a nice smooth advance but a series of big steps forward and smaller steps back. But as long as each step back doesn’t take you back further than before and each step forward takes you further than before, you’ll surely get there

New Year, new start – I hope 2011 is a good one for you
Nigel