I joined here Xmas Eve as I have convinced myself I am having a breakdown (in fact the doctor I saw Xmas Eve said I probably was). I just feel absolutely panic stricken all the time. I woke up this morning, having managed somehow to get through Xmas day even though it was pure hell, feeling my stomach in knots, heart pounding, feelings of unreality and I just couldn't even face getting out of bed. I just want something to take away these feelings and even the Oxazepam my doctor has prescribed isn't even touching the panic. I feel so alone. I have been signed off of work for 2 weeks and already I'm dreading having to go back, and think I may never be able to, especially as getting out of bed at the moment is too difficult for me. I dread going to bed at night in case I don't sleep, I dread getting up in the morning, I can't think how I am going to manage to get through the day. I know deep down it's just anxiety and panic but I just can't calm down and think rationally. I just want to go to hospital and have someone take this pain away. And when I think about what I'm going through it hits my stomach and sends waves of fear through me. I'm probably one of the most experienced people in getting through panic having been this way since I was 13 and I'm now 43 but somehow this time has got me in a complete state. I think if the pills won't work, what do I do? I live on my own, and I have a boyfriend however he doesn't understand and I think I should just finish with him to stop the extra stress of having to pretend that I'm just a little bit under the weather and not in the depths of despair. Has anyone else felt this way? Will I get better? I'm so tired, I can't face food, I just want to die!!