andrews escitalopram diary tuesday update

[andrew england 2]

day 1)
11am taken escitalopram for the 1st time this morning, feeling very nervos, am on half dose for 5 days before review on monday morning with CBT the same day, I know nothing will happen for the first week so am hoping any side effects are minimal cos its half dose to begin with tho i have read that 5mg can be a maintenance dose, so i can expect to feel like the normal me nervos and up and down all day.

7pm - and no noticeable side effects at all on day one, managed to have one diazepam at 10am and next one at 6pm, obviously no benefit on day one but no side effects so far either, maybe what they say about this escitaprolam is true and it is a cleaner more effiecent med, i will find out as i go along. Took a half dose of nite to aid sleep

Day 2)
slept heavily, didnt wake till noon, took the med and a 2mg diaz, feeling doped up and a bit nervos and down, at this time in the past on a friday i would be looking forward to finishing at 3.30pm and having the wkend off. I hope and pray these meds work and that I can be looking forward to the same again. Finished the day with a diaz at 8pm and a half dose of nite nurse to sleep at 10pm and dozed off after chatting on yahoo till the early hrs at 3am.

Day 3)
slept heavily again and more restfully this time, woke at 11am so sleep is centering around about 8 hrs tho cos i am sleeping late n waking late my sleep pattern is back to front but am only interested really in staying sober taking the escitalopram and limiting the diaz to 2mg 2 * day with 8 hr break in btw and a half nite nurse to sleep till the docs review and 1st cbt session on monday when i will then review my next move.

No idea how the day will pan out, it may go bad or be flat, a flat day is the best i can hope for, but if i keep to my med plan i will be content to make it into sunday.

Ironically my craving for cigarettes seems to be diminishing slightly and with it any alcohol craving to dampen down my nerves, but its early today yet, will see what the day bring.

Had an afternoon blip, too much caffeine and cigs not enough activity, turned it round by getting showered and going to a mass, took a 2nd diaz and a half dose of nite nurse and calmed down, watched some tv and chatted on yahoo and chalked another day off sober and on meds.

Day 4)
Well this is turning into quite a boring thread but oh well it may get interesting one day or it may not, chatted till early morning hrs again and woke up at 11am so sleep is still 8 hrs but at wrong time and tomorrow i have to be up at 7.30am so that will set it better if i stay awake all day tomorrow.

Ironically tho it doesnt feel like a successful start to me this will now be on completion 5 days without me getting drunk out of my skull to fend off my anxiety and depers and dereals and ending up in a panic attack the following day and also I have been stable on 2 * 2mg of diaz and a half dose of nite nurse for 4 days. In the past it was get drunk wake with a panic attack, struggle thru the day using anything up to 15mg of diaz and full dose of nite nurse followed by 10 mg of diaz and a full nite nurse followed by a return to the beer and so the circle continued so this is stability compared to what was close to alcoholism and diaz and nite nurse dependence so 4mg of diaz and half nite nurse and no beer and no
out and out panic attacks is an improvement I guess.

My question to myself is how dependent does 4 mg of diazepam a day and a half dose of nite nurse make me ? (if anyone has direct experience of diazepam dependence I would be grateful if they can give me some sort of insight as to how strong this dose is pls ) I plan to continue on this pattern for another 3 days then move the escitalopram up to the full theraputic dose of 10mg on thursday of next week and perhaps continue the same pattern for another week and then move into a reduction regime and get rid of it alltogther as the escitalopram begins to give its full benefits.

I am certainly gonna have to help myself more cos I am doing very little positive in my life myself as yet a

[Alexandra]

Hi Andrew

Your going to be ok honestly it will take just a short time toi adjust to the tablets & with the help of the CBT you will be motoring in no time.

Good luck with the tablets & CBT you will really benefit from the councelling its very good.

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[Robertc160882]

Hi Andrew,

Good luck and I’m sure you will fine and thing will work themselves out. You have done the right thing taking positive steps to ensure that your illness is treated.

Well done


Robert

[Southern_Belle]

Andew,

Good luck, hope all goes well and hange in there, thinking of you.

Bel

[Keitharcher]

Hi Andrew

You will be ok, the meds should start working in about a week

Keith

[darkangel]

Hi Andrew

Try not to focus too much on taking your meds - it can become a viscious circle - take tablet - wait and see what happens - if anything - wait for next tablet.

Trust it will be OK and keep yourself busy with other things. I know its hard not to look back and think what you would normally have been doing on a Friday - but sometimes this can make us feel worse.

Keep reminding yourself that you are moving in a more positive direction and give yourself time to adjust. Sleep is good for you so well done on the long lie - you deserve it.

Take care

D/A

........life is for living not just for surviving

[sal]

Hi Andrew

You will get through this and we are all here to help and support you.

Take care.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[chop]

see how good it is!!!!

I talking to you in msn and can tell how much better you sound already!

The meds help a lot then you change lifestyle/thinking/get confidence back/do things/faith/exercise and your life gets better and better! (unless u get run over like me _ still good tho lol)

Still down days but they get less and less and think of a bad day or days as you will have a good day coming up

Chop

Learning to under react

[darkangel]

Hi Andrew

Good to see you are still positive mate.

I went my shopping this morning and had panic attack but I kept going, thinking of everyone else on here makes its that bit easier to keep going.

Bet you are glad you don't live in Scotland cos No smoking in all public places including all pubs and restaurants starts tomorrow. Who ever came up with that idea obviously doesn't suffer wi anxiety !

Hope you have a calm and relaxed day and keep smiling

Take care

D/A

........life is for living not just for surviving

[Meg]

Hi Andrew

Umm doesn't sound like its going badly at all. It is normal to feel off kilter when starting these new meds but you have managed to stay off the booze and without increasing anything else.

Sounds like you're missing the pleasurable part of the adrenaline factor more than anything such as dancing wildly all night and going out and about and socailizing so much .

It is poissible to build a life without stimulants and still feel joy and thrills and whilst you're used to the pub as being your social life maybe now its time to explore other possibilities .

You sound like a social person and in your thread there is very little about interaction with others apart from late at night online ..

Have I missed something ?




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress