Lack of motivation

[ladybird64]

Hi all.

I would just like your opinions on something please.

I have not been out and about much recently, well not for pleasure anyway. For approx the past two months I have been run off my feet taking my daughter to appts, dealing with family crises, hospital visits.

Before October I had got into the frame of mind where I looked forward to going out and was enjoying myself but it seems to have disappeared.

I did what in retrospect was probably a daft thing in that I stopped my medication just as the sh*t hit the fan and I have been dealing with stuff non stop since then.

On the couple of occasions where I have actually walked anywhere I have noticed the old anxious habits and symptoms of panic building up which has obviously been a bit depressing...the same places, the same sensations, the same thoughts..shows how deeply entrenched they are.

I have no intention of going back on meds, primarily because at some point I will have to come off them anyway. I have been ill over Christmas, can't breathe because of the damned asthma and really don't feel like doing anything..I think the stuffing has been knocked out of me a bit.

I think this is my lowest point for long time. (Self-pitying whinge alert coming up )

I am worried about my daughter and her mental health, her baby has been ill in hospital, someone else is facing a very real and frightening health concern and I feel like crap.

I'm trying hard to ignore the feelings of "it's back" because I know it's my own mind playing tricks on me because of the strain but I have got to get some motivation from somewhere..I think I could push myself to go for a short walk but feel so rough with the asthma and this virus.

I'm kind of backed into a corner and the longer Im at home the less like making an effort I will feel..if that makes sense.

Should I push through this and try and go out or wait it out at home?

Thanks

[happycamper]

Hi Ladybird,

I'm no expert here and you've given me such good advice yourself in the past.

However....my first instinct after reading your post is that you may have neglected your own heath - mental and physical, partly for the sake of your family etc.

Feel free to tell me I'm wrong, I'm not saying you're in the wrong either of course, family are very important, but in my capacity as a nurse I've seen many carers end up struggling with day to day things when they've put all their energies into their ill relative, parents of children included, to the detriment of themselves. But in the long term, of course, it isn't the ideal thing for anyone.

If there is any way you can take some steps back and concentrate on yourself and your own mental well being for a little while, give yourself some much needed TLC.

If you're indoors maybe try and utilise the time for relaxation/mindfullness is you do this, a chance to recharge your emotional batteries. But as it is well know, getting day light and fresh air is very important at this time of the year for everyone, so even just half an hour would be beneficial.

Those are just my thoughts Ladybird. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Clare X

[baileys]

I feel as if im in your boat as well at the moment.
I cant shift this virus, Christmas and the buildup is over, thank god but i still feel drained from it all.
So im sitting around knowing that i should get out and about but i dont have the motivation to do anything, so im not going to. But im not going to beat myself up for feeling this way.
Maybe you need to do the same, have a rest, be good to yourself and dont worry about the old feelings coming back. Im sure when you feel better you will think differently.X
I would share my baileys with you but im down to my last bottle

[ladybird64]

Thank you both so much, your replies mean a lot to me.

Clare, you have hit the nail on the head. A dear friend of mine from this forum has said the same thing to me about overdoing things but I don't know what else to do..there are things that have to be done and I'm the one that has to do them.

I will try and take your advice, and yours too Baileys and try and stop mentally booting myself up the arsium. I'm sure it's the same for so many of us here, we make massive improvements and all the steps we have taken go by the wayside.

We then get worried and get into the "what shall I do, got to get better again" mindset and start analysing every damn thing.

I have to laugh a bit Clare because I couldn't remember the "good advice" I had given you (thanks for that xx) and had a look back at my posts.

I have been neglecting to do the very thing that I advised you to do a while ago! What are we like?

Right. I'm going to stop worrying about what I SHOULD be doing and just do what I feel like doing..try and shake off the guilt about it too.

We'll see how I feel in a couple days. Baileys..we'll keep each other company. I have got a bottle of the cheap version of Baileys but you are welcome to share with me.
Thanks for taking time out when you're feeling rough to answer me.

Big hugs ladies

[Magic]

Hi Ladybird
Its me again.
This is what I do. You already know me and my situation.
I choose one day out of the week and I walk 20 minutes to the bus stop (have pass) I look around the shops I may buy some thing. I go for some lunch( we call it dinner in stoke) I make conversation with people who do not know me and we talk about every day things. I catch the bus home.
It may seem trivial to any one reading this post. But this takes me away for abit.It does not happen all the time if we have alot of hospital appointments,but it is a thing maybe you could try. These are the carers commandments.you may have heard them before .I don't know
1. Thou shalt not try to be all things to all people
2.Thou shalt not be perfect,or even try
3.Thou shalt leave things undone that ought to be done
4.thou shalt not spread thyself too thin
5.Thou shalt learn to say"NO"
6.Thou shalt schedule time for thyself and thy supportive network
7.Thogh shalt switch off and do nothing regular
8.Thou shalt be boring, unelegant,untidy and unatractive at times
9.Thou shalt not feel guilty
10.Thou shalt not be thine own worse enemy

Thank for your kind concerns for me since I joined NMP x
Best Wishes to you and yours

[dulcie]

Thank u nellie we should all have those commandments on our fridge - or i should! I don't know you but i work full time, have 3 young grandchildren and have realised i spend no time looking after my health. Just bought myself a Wii fit for christmas so i can do yoga and excercise at home - just a thought.

[blue moon]

Hi ladybird,just sending you some big hugsLove Petra xx

[JaneC]

Hi Ladybird, can't add much more to what the others have said but have a . Sometimes life throws so much at us that it can't help taking a toll. Look after your own needs for a bit as best you can, only do what you feel like doing as much as possible and try to banish the 'sh' word from your vocabulary. I hope you feel better soon xx

[Magic]

To Everyone who sent me replies,
Thank you and keep well
Lots of Love X

[ladybird64]

Many thanks for the other replies too and the hugs..all appreciated.

Well, I went out for a little while today with daughter, nothing too strenuous, a small bus journey (buses aren't a problem for me at all) and a relaxed stroll around Waitrose to track down an apple strudel.

I haven't seen those Carer's commandments before Helen, I think I should print them off and put them somwhere obvious. Trouble is, if we don't do things nobody else will eh?

But you're right, time put aside on a regular basis IS possible and is something that we shouldn't see as a luxury but as a necessity. I had learnt that lesson earlier this year but somehow it all got forgotten.

I'll try and do what's right for me which probably entails not doing too much at the moment.

Thanks again everyone