Pregnancy Phobia...Everyone says I will just grow out it...

[amybwin417]

About a month ago, I went to my OBGYN for a consultation, and I tried so hard to tell her about my fear of being pregnant and told her I felt defective, like I had a chip missing and she basically responded by saying "YOU DO!" to me...I just sat in her office and bawled because I felt like I was crazy or just plain pathetic. NO ONE gets it, they all insist that I am just not ready now, as I am a newlywed and 25 years old, but I know I want kids, I just have an issue with how they get here...I have had a major phobia of pregnancy since I was 9 years old.

I have reccurring dreams and I never manage to come to terms with even being pregnant in the dreams...How can I do that in real life? I have so many anxieties, especially prone to Social Anxiety and Panic Disorder. But this phobia is pervasive and strong in my head, and I cannot shake it! My husband is so understanding, and I so badly want to give him a child that looks just like him because I love him so much!

I am scared most of just being pregnant and the changes to your body, not necessarily the labor aspect so much although that picture has not been painted very pretty for me! It's more for me about how the baby gets here. I am freaked out about having somethign grow inside me, it makes me cringe. I don't feel emotionally or mentally capable, and I feel awful. I actually hope I can't have children. I had an IUD inserted last month that backfired and within two weeks of having it in I was in the ER having it removed because of sharp pains on my right side.

Those sharp pains are back and I have been bleeding for over a month. They mentioned possible endometriosis and I was actually happy at the thought! What is wrong with me, I keep asking myself.

I am an adoptee, through a closed adoption, and was 7 days old when I was adopted. I can't remember a time I didn't know I was adopted, I feel like I have always known...At present time, I have met and carry on a great relationship with my birthmother and have for over 7 years. I learned that she had to hide me from everyone even her father for 7 months until she finally went to the adoption agency to have me. Her own father never knew about me.

That definitely made me see being pregnant as shameful for me personally at age 17 when I learned all of this information through her. But at age 9 I didn't know anything about her, I think maybe it stems from that though, subconsciously somehow.

Any other adoptees with a similar issue? Anybody with an understanding viewpoint, or anyone who shares this fear? Please, I need support, and I would love to give support!

Amy

[spiral]

I have a fear of giving birth, scared of the pain but also hate the idea of taking the drugs and not being in control!

Not keen on the idea of pregnancy either as it was all the messing around with hormones through contraceptives that seemed to get me ill in the first place.

I'm approaching 30 and do want kids so i need a resolution soon. Not really helped by the fact that my husband doesnt really want kids. He suffers from depression, thinks his genes aren't good enough, the world is overpopulated and has a very low sex drive (worsened by citalopram).

I'm not convinced we can resolve all that before i'm too old to concieve easily! Starting to think about adoption...

[eternally optimistic]

Hi

I am a MOTHER of two teenagers.

I think I probably would never have kids due to the whole pregnancy thing but from the time we said lets try to them both being born, three years apart, it was easy.

I was very lucky with the birth, but suprisingly for me who worries about EVERYTHING, I just took it all in my stride and enjoyed the whole thing bar the morning sickness, which was just one of those things.

I have birth to both of my kids without any meds, not even gas and air and I think some of that was down to being laid back....

IF ONLY I COULD BE LIKE THAT NOW - LOL.

Good luck for the future.

Hope this gives you hope.

It is a great feeling having that baby moving around and seeing its leg punch your stomach.

[MamaCass]

Hi hun, i was a severe tochophobe, (fear of pregnancy), i now have a beautiful 5 month old daughter, and i would do it all again tomorrow. Its the anticipation of what could happen and the rest that goes with it, i know that if i can do it anyone can, as i had very severe tochophobia x

[amybwin417]

Casstella,

Happy New Year, first of all! And, secondly, thank you for the optimistic information you were willing to share with me, it makes me think that a cure for this must lie in just going through with it. I want to want to be okay with it so badly, but it scares me more so than anything, because I think what if I get there and it is too late to go back? I hate those "What-if's", but I noticed that you put your phobia in past tense, meaning it is gone? I hope so! What a relief for you! A beautiful baby girl too, I bet she is worth it! Did your issues with pregnancy subside as soon as you found out or soon after? Or was the whole process up until you held your girl very scary/worrisome? Best wishes!

Amy

[pegdog]

Hi

I've just read all your posts and I wish I could reassure you. I was adopted by my grandparents because my mum didn't want me; I never wanted children - not because of this but because I was brought up in a sexually repressed Catholic household - by very old people. I maintained I didn't want children (this is almost laughable now) because everyone would know I'd had sex!

This continued until my marriage broke down and I was alone. I then met my present husband who was so understanding and we wanted children. I had two beautiful daughters within 12 months, now 13 and 14 when I was in my early 30's.

I suffered with severe pre-eclampsia and eclampsia and all three of us were seriously ill..........I'm really not trying to frighten you; the main reasons were because I had to have emergency caesareans both times and was treated badly - and incorrectly.

The reason I'm telling you this is because I was desperate to have a natural birth, more than anything and caesareans made me feel really cheated; I cannot imagine why anyone would choose this method unless, like me, it was imperative for mother and baby.

I'm not saying you're wrong for how you feel - I have many fears myself and that's why I'm on here - but, however you choose to have your baby, natural delivery, caesarean, awake, asleep, there is no feeling like holding your precious child for the first time knowing that you must get through your fears for their sake.

Please try to overcome your worries - for the biggest gift of all, the gift of life.

Good luck to all you ladies who feel this way.