Hello everyone I have just joined this site today in the hope I can talk with similar people who have the same problem I do.
Here is my story so far,
The first panic attack I had was when I was 15, I was on holiday in Spain with my parents. They had gone away on a day trip and had left me alone for the day, I was excited at this prospect and woke up to enjoy a cigarette and a can of coke (now I realise these 2 things are a recipe for disaster) on the balcony with no one around to catch me. It caused my first panic attack.... palpitations, a sense of being out of my body, shaking hands, a feeling to run.. a proper one, as those that have had one will know.
The holiday rep took me to the local clinic, I thought I was having a heart attack, the doctor gave me a shot of vallium and I instantly felt ok, a bit dazed but ok.
On returning to the UK I went for a heart check up, nothing untoward there, the doctor told me I had suffered a panic attack and advised me to stop taking caffeine, which I have managed to do this day, (I'm 30 now).
The years passed, I had the odd attack, usually in situations I didn't feel comfortable in, like crowded buses, trains, and sometimes just out of the blue for no real reason at all. I could cope with these attacks, I would sit somewhere quiet and let them pass (I have never taken medication by the way).
Then as time went on the avoidance of situations I had had an attack in got more common, and now the long and short of it is I can't walk anywhere really without worrying about having a panic attack. It used to be ok, I would not think about it until it actually happened but now it plagues my thoughts.
I use my car as a 'safety zone' and can't really go anywhere without it.. for example if I have to go to the supermarket I will never be able to get a bus into town on my own and do it,,, it would have to be planned like a military operation, park as near to the entrance as possible, walk round like a mad man getting what I need and leave asap. It really is getting bad now and I would like some advice from some of you out there that have had this agoraphobia and managed to cure themselves. I have heard of cbt and tried exposing myself to the situations I fear but am rubbish at it.
The only time I can cope with this problem is when I have had a couple of beers (I'm aware this is called self medicating).. I can go anywhere and do anything once I have taken the edge off with 4 or 5 pints, but obviously drink is not the answer.
Through avoidance and literally planning my every move I have stayed panic free for a couple of years, but without my car I would be home bound. Its really strange it's like mobile safety zone :-).
If I left my house to walk all the way into town that would be my idea of hell, It's like I'm on a string and need to run home as soon as I feel the panic setting in... anyway I could go on forever, but any people who suffer similar agoraphobia problems would be great to hear from you.
Mark.
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