hello there swingsandroundabouts, you sound like you really ant to get off the tablets. I reckon its a purley personal thing, we are all different and our bodies and mind act accordingly to the withdrawel of these things. personally i was on them 3 and a half years, up until 5 weeks ago!!!
its been a hell of a struggle to ghet off them. i went cold turkey last year and felt like i was going mad!! i hope you have a doc that you can "relate" to, i think that is a good start, they will tell you to come off gradualyy, listen to them, it wont ever happen overnight but you will suceed, just hang in there and go as slowly as you can, your mind and body have yo be really gently weaned off these little monsters.dont feel like you are letting yourself down by going up to 20mg again, if thats what your mind and body needs at the moment dont fight it, get back to an even keel, then try again, you know u can cut the 10mg in half and have 15mg a day for a while??? but hey, im no doc, just hang in there...good luck