Binge eating

[Karen]

Thanks for the replies:

Fee: I could find the money for CBT from what I have left from my house sale but I am a bit frustrated that there are CBT therapists at the clinic and I can't seem to be referred to one no matter how many times I ask.

I did look at the clinic you recommend and although I could make it to Brighton, I'd prefer to see someone a bit closer to home really. I'm shattered with my 3 days at the clinic and another regular drive to Brighton would add to that. I haven't ruled it out but need to see if I can find a recommendation for someone a bit closer.

Hannah: I agree that a lot of the CBT is homework but I still think it helps with motivation and progress to actually be seeing someone and being steered in the right direction.

Not feeling so good now. Those laxatives have certainly started to have a quick effect on me [xx(]. Just got up to make a hot water bottle but know I am likely to spend the rest of the evening in and out of the toilet. My own fault of course [Sigh...].

Karen xx

[tammyg]

Good to hear from you Karen.

Just wanted to say I agree with Fee, you have achieved some good things even if it has been hard. Sometimes we need to take a step backwards before continuing forwards, don't push too hard. Give yourself some time. You have a lot going on and need to be nicer to yourself. I hope you can do this.

And I really hope you can find somewhere local for CBT.

Tammy x

[Karen]

Hi Tammy

Thanks for your reply. I do feel like I have taken a major step backwards and am now worse than I've been for a long time,

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">You have a lot going on and need to be nicer to yourself.<div align="right">Originally posted by tammyg - 09 May 2006 : 21:20:10</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

This is what is so difficult. I continue treating myself badly because that's how I believe I deserve to be treated. This is what Julia was talking about this morning with core beliefs - mine being that I am bad and worthless - and therefore I will continue to find ways to punish myself until gradually that belief can start to be challenged. She said it doesn't really matter how many people tell me this isn't true because to me it is still 100% the truth about me.

She has given me a whole bunch of photocopies of stuff from a CBT book but I suspect it is like information and suggestions I've read before and I really need some individual help with this.

I'm worried about coping tomorrow alone. At first I planned to knock myself out to prevent myself bingeing again, but I have to get up fairly early for an appointment with my dietician. I doubt she is going to be able to help because my thought processes have spiralled further into irrational and self-destructive territory since my last appointment with her. I suppose I could spend the rest of the day asleep as long as I make it home without going in any supermarkets [:I].

Karen xx

[Quirky]

Phew, finally managed to get on this thread, kept timing out badly earlier.

Hi Karen.

Well done for having such a good day, so may positives there sis. A big well done for talking to Julia and admitting how things have been, can't have been easy. Julia sounds very sensible about things and it's good you can confide in her.
I too agree individual CBT would be good for you and if you can't get it at the clinic I hope you can find someone privately.

I hope you're ok tonight and sleep well. Sorry this is short, not meant to be on here after seeing the chiropractor.

Night sis,

Love and hugs,

Lisa x

[Karen]

Hi Lisa

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Phew, finally managed to get on this thread, kept timing out badly earlier.
<div align="right">Originally posted by LJ - 09 May 2006 : 22:35:26</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

I think it was the whole forum. It froze for ages when I was trying to read a thread and then said service unavailable. It probably is time to start a new thread but I wish it could be on a positive note.

It doesn't feel like a very positive day for me. Apart from my chat with Julia - and again the issue of individual CBT being skirted around - I was so tired I wasn't able to take anything in.

Going to bed earlier doesn't work because I just wake earlier in the morning [|)].

I have so much tidying up and sorting out to do here but feel too tired to do any of it. I feel like I am being so lazy but I am just feeling so lethargic.

Karen xx

[Quirky]

Just take it easy and have a rest sis, you're not being lazy.
Hope you sleep well.

Night,

Lisa x

PS Today definitely sounded more positive to me

[feege]

Aw Karen it's so hard to hear you be so hard on yourself... I know there's no point in telling you you don't deserve to be punished but... ooops I just did it again

I hope you manage to sleep tonight hun.

Loads and loads of love n hugs

Aunty Fee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com

Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!

[Karen]

I have now started a new post - due to this one being so long.

All new messages are now on Eating Disorder - Warning - possibly triggering.

[Blueeey2shoes..]

ooh wow Karen..

im new here and you sound just like me - even have the same name too!lol

Yeah im going thru high anxiety and deppression - long story short- 10 yr social phobic-housebound girl in her mid 20s until lst yr finding a male friend on the net and pushed thru the fears to fly over and meet .. first time to ever do anything like that .. didnt turn out like a girl wouldve wanted to put it mildly but madea friend and experiences any how..

Anyway have bad memories id rather forget - ones a girl would not like to remember - ones that severly lower her self esteem and worth..

I was living in a place far from the old me of social phobic until i had to move back and here i am now..

Been 3 months now since ive been back and like living in a nightmare.
I have body dysmorphic disorder and my wieght issues ( im not large) get to me - i lost so much before - too much but i was for once not using food to fill my voids.. it took me years to getto a stage of eliminating and mastering my diet - restricing to smaller meals high in nutrients and grazing on natural fruits and veges ..

until things happened with me - now once again im stuck in a binging low self esteem rutt..

'We' ll start tommorrow eating better and exercizing..' everyday..

What i do which has worked for me is to go for long intense walks around a nice type of country less distracting setting - up and down hills and so forth..
and listening to your fav music -this makes your anxiety lessen and also-

you should drink lots of water, chewing on gum can distract, make sure you have all your vitamins and mineral and your that you have an apple or piece of fruit when you feel really hungry as your blood sugar needs to be filled..
also i take slimist - a specail mouth spray that stops you feeling like eating - comes with sniffers too..

What you need to do is take a few days to really go all out and resist the urges - sleep or do something distracting .. by a few days of not eating as much your body clock will get used to it and so on..

also think before you want to eat something- bingingly..look at the food for what it is rather than waht you can obtain and take etc..
BEat thing is to detox and eat/binge and get used to healthy fruit and veges esp raw .. your body in high times of stress need more nutrients and by eliminating all the convienience packet foods and eating from the garden so to speak your body will attune to what it needs by giving you signals of what you feel like having - like broccoli and stuff..!lol

Get exercise in too - music is a big motivator..

Also the voids in your life you need to have a good dreaming session and think of what you want out of life.. and turn them into goals..

write affirmations too.. : )

nuture yourself -

ive been in a big deppression and trying to get over things at the same time trying to find my way back on my feet and face my big phobic fears.. imve been lowered and now its time for me to try and get back up again..

hope i could help x

[Karen]

Hi Bleeey2shoes (or can I call you Karen?) to
the forum.

I was saddened to hear of your experiences. Are you receiving some help to come to terms with it until you feel strong enought it to eat normally.

Sounds like you have been having a hard time of it recently but there is always hope.

Thanks for your suggestions. I have tried most of them in my time. My diagnosis is anorexia and I spend most of my time restricting and have these binge eating episodes following release from Eating Disorder Units. I just returned home after discharging myself from the latest 3 month admission which was a 3 month spell.

I hope we can help support each other. I'm posting on my latest thread now entitled HomeI hope you feel able to join in if you would like

Karen xx