I am actually buzzing right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel high on something, but can assure everyone I have taken NOTHING!!!! Lol :P I've just been 2 the pub!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Arghhhhhh I actually cannot believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It all started when my best friend text me this afternoon 2 ask me if I fancied trying the pub for an hour tonight, I was like, noooo I don't think so. But then I thought about it, and I thought, if I never try, I'll never know how it would go! So I thought, I'm gonna damn well give this my best shot!!!!!!! So I was getting dropped off at 7 2 meet her, so I started getting ready the back of 6, and about 5 times I nearly text her saying I can't do it, and as I was getting ready my heart was pounding, and adrenaline was pouring through me, and the butterflies were going INSANE in my stomach, but I kept getting ready and fighting through it. I kept trying 2 say in my head "it will be ok! I've seen her loads, the pub won't be very busy on a Sun night, she knows my situation so if I need 2 leave she'll be fine with it" all that kind of thing, but it didn't keep the damned anxiety at bay, but I just kept fighting through it. I kept thinking, "I am going out with my friend... it's the first time I've been out without my parents since last June and I am going 2 do this!!!!!!!!!!"
When I got out the car, she said I looked absolutely terrified, and she kepy asking if I was sure, but I just kept saying yes, let's just do it!!!! We stood outside the pub for about 10 minutes before I felt ready 2 go in. It was busy, but not mobbed. We got a table in the corner, and I faced away from all the people. I was about an 8/10 anxiety wise, and she spoke for about the first 15 minutes. All that time I kep trying 2 do a breathing technique I've been taught (in through ur nose, out through ur mouth, in through ur nose, out through ur mouth, in through ur nose, out through ur mouth, in through ur nose, hold 4 5 seconds, out through ur mouth) then I started 2 calm down a bit, and started 2 update her on all of my news. The thing that bothered me the most wasn't the people (because I wasn't facing them) it was the noise. I kept wanting 2 put my hands over my ears, but I resisted the urge lol. Anyway, we stayed for a whole hour!!!!!!!! And by the time we left, I'd say my anxiety was about a 4 and a half out of 10!!!
I'm still kinda buzzing as I write this, can't actually believe I did it!!!!!!!!! Just want 2 say 2 everyone that the thought of a situation is normally a lot worse than the situation itself, and if u can just ride out the anxiety, u can come out the other end
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