Saturday/Sunday - not so cool

[lilac kitten]

Me and my partner went to look at a new car for him on Saturday, and I knew we would have to drive to High Wycombe. The journey there was OK, A33, M4 and A404, with my partner driving. Then he decides to buy the car. Panic!! How the hell can I drive back? My partner suggested I follow him on the motorway - no way I said, not for 25 miles on the M4.

We chose to go back on the back roads and I took a wrong turn at a roundabout and ended up on the A404. The dual carriageway was only 2 miles, but its classed as motorway this particular bit and I went into total panic and had to pull over. I realised I only had about a mile to go and my partner stayed behind me, but it was total panic. I really hate myself right now. 10 years ago I would have bombed up the M4 with not a care in the world, now I shake like a dog going to the vet. I knew I'd probably have to drive back, but as I said in a previous post, I'm going to start making the effort to do more and get out more by doing that I'm at least making a start.

Then on Sunday I went to take a couple of things back to Next and came over all faint, and like I was on a boat - weird. I do have a heavy cold so that didn't help. But I can't understand why I'm panicing so much over everything.

I've made my partner promise that every Sunday we can drive to Basingstoke on the M3 or Reading on the A33 and go round the motorway roundabout. Maybe by doing this I'll slowly get a bit better. I've done it before and can do it again. But I've never been this bad - I was absolutely petrified.

I have the right attitude, but I think its probably going to take some time.

I'll see how I get on this weekend and let you know.

Hope everybody else is good and had a good weekend.
Love
Ruth
x

[diana]

Ruth,

Sorry to hear you had a bad weekend, but on the upside you did do that drive back with the panic and you survived!!!!!!!!!!!! Well done.

Congratulations on the new car.

You are right you do have the right attitude, and you will get on just fine. Don`t beat yourself up to much we all have set backs and I think the point of focus here should be is that you did it, you did`nt give up.

Remember little steps, and time will get you where you want to be .

You are doing everything right, just take your time and little steps. You`ll get there .

Keep us posted on how you are getting along.

Take care,

Diana xxxxx [8)]

[nomorepanic]

Ruth

As you may know my biggest problem is driving. I think I am conquering it now but I still need to try the M25 cos that is a big issue for me - lots of panic attacks on there.

You did well to get back though - at least you didn't just abandon the car and leave it there - so well done for that.

You do need to go back and try it again and see how things progress.

Like you say just try it again next week and then keep doing it till it becomes normal.

Let us know how it goes ok?

Nicola

[paulgray]

hi Ruth

As Mark Twain said, "Courage is not absence of fear; it is control of fear, mastery
of fear."

we all have days when our courage fails us, seems to me, that driving back that day. your courage was with you. you should be proud of doing it at all feeling as you did.

[Laurie28]

Ruth,

i think you done great!! As Nic says you could have abandoned the car but you DIDN'T you chsoe to go on and you did get through it!

lucky
Paul - Nice quote

Well done I say!

[Meg]

You did it ! That's in itself a wonderful thing, but the best of all is your commitment to practice each week in order to get this fear to subside and gain control over it.

Many congratulations on both counts.


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[diana]

Thanks for posting that quote Paul!!!!!!!!!!

I have written it down to put on little cards to put in the places where I feel fear, anxiety or panic.

Take care,

Diana xxxxx