Originally Posted by
PsychoPoet
Well, it's day two today, I am yet to take my second dose of cit, I'm waiting til dinner time. I went to bed far too late last night and feel totally knackered.
As I think I've already said, a big reason for my low mood and anxiety over the last few weeks has been the realisation that I've got nothing in my life except work. Apart from that I see my mate, who is depressed, or I sit at home. Normally when I'm feeling well I am happy to potter about reading or writing or playing the XBox but over the last couple of weeks I've been feeling like my life is empty, without greater purpose. That really, really got to me.
Now that I've started to accept this, it no longer hurts so badly and my anxiety is at a low level for the moment. On the other hand I know WHY I have got nothing else in my life: I feel more anxious at the thought of going out. Me and dad are planning to go out this afternoon and for some reason, despite being bored at home with nothing better to do than sit here writing about my problems, part of me doesn't want to go!
So it appears the problem is this:
* I am unhappy because my life is empty; I can see what I need to do and what I want to do to change this.
* I am too scared or demotivated to actually make any changes. The thought of making my life busier or more complicated, for example by meeting someone of the opposite sex, fills me with fear; the thought of going out for the day makes me want to mope at home, because I don't feel like I've got the energy or enthusiasm.
Now maybe as my tablets and therapy kick in, things will start getting easier for me. I also think that going to bed at 1am every night is not helping at all!