Dealing with my stuff (Psychotherapy and 'inner child' work)

[HarrogateChris]

Hi All,

I feel like it's time for a new thread. Much of my progress so far has centred around my experiences with Citalopram. I now feel like I am on the right dose and that it's working well for me. My depression has lifted, my anxiety is no longer debilitating. I no longer have suicidal urges, I am actively building new relationships and repairing those I can.

That's all great, but now I have to do the really hard work. As I see it, I'm still very much ill, I just have a chemical mask that's screening me from the emotional pain and illness I've experienced. If I want truly to get better is to deal with the issues and ways of thinking that caused my problems in the first place. This is going to take some time, I have a lot of emotional healing to do, I have to learn more about who I am and why I think in the ways I do.

I have been seeing a psychotherapist weekly since May. Through our discussions it's become clear that my illness stems from a lot of pain and trauma in childhood. Now that I am more stable emotionally I need to start working through that pain and learning to care for the Little Chris inside who has suffered so much in the past. I'm only just getting to know him, he's a wonderful little chap.

I'm going to change my profile pic so you can meet him

Chris x

[paula lynne]

All the best with your continued recovery Chris, youve come quite a way already. Best wishes, P x

[JaneC]

Good luck Chris - and you haven't changed much btw! x

[gaaron]

to little chris x

[keval]

I have been seeing a psychotherapist weekly since May. Through our discussions it's become clear that my illness stems from a lot of pain and trauma in childhood. Now that I am more stable emotionally I need to start working through that pain and learning to care for the Little Chris inside who has suffered so much in the past. I'm only just getting to know him, he's a wonderful little chap.

Hi HarrogateChris,

Beautifully expressed!

Incidentally, I'm in the same boat. My problems are rooted in childhood and adolescence. I have OCD and GAD but these are symptoms of deeper issues.

Best wishes,

keval

[Dahlia]

He's a little cutie! Enjoy getting to know him more and nurturing him

[HarrogateChris]

Hi All,

Apologies that I haven't posted in a while. It's not because I've been feeling better and have wandered off thinking I'm fixed! I've been working very hard writing a history of my childhood for therapy purposes. It turned into a bit of an epic! Writing it has been a very emotional experience. It's taken a lot of work to get it to a place where I feel happy with it.

The 40mg of Cit is working brilliantly for me. I feel really good. I have no side effects at all anymore. I still experience a little anxiety but my depression has lifted almost entirely. I still get upset, but only over upsetting things. This is great because I am able to feel my anxiety and using mindfulness I catch it early and I'm learning to understand it so much better. I still cry, I had a good old cry in my therapy session today (reading my story to my therapist) but that's OK. The way I see it, I have just the right amount of anxiety and tears to be able to work on my "stuff" without being debilitated by it.

I'm have agreed a return to work date of 7th Feb with my GP and therapist

Dealing with my stuff is proving to be both upsetting but also profoundly rewarding and enjoyable process. I am learning to get to know and care for a wonderful little child. I don't mean that in an egotistic way. All of us who were hurt as children and survived must have an amazing little character within in us who got through it. We all made it, we all survived.

I don't want to make my history public, but I am going to share it with a few people I know have been following my progress in a minute. If you're following my progress and would like to see it, drop me a PM and I'll have a think about sending the link

Hope everyone is heading in the right direction

Chris xx

[ditzygirl]

You are doing incredibly well, all your hard work is really paying off.

You should be really proud of all your effortsx

[HarrogateChris]

My therapist said she has never had a client before who has worked so hard and been so committed to getting well!

Little Chris is feeling proud of himself, he should do!

Chris

[ditzygirl]

I have to say I'm fascinated by your approach, set me thinking about how I should approach my issues - thank you x