Andrea, what a brilliant post,

As you can see, so many of us know that our illness has an impact on our children. I have four children, my eldest is eight, then a 4, 3 and 1 year old. My eldest son had me at my best when he was young, but I have steadily declined over the last four years with my panic disorder and agoraphobia. Every single day I beat myself up about ruining my childrens lives and opportunities. My second child keeps asking if I will take him on a bus or a plane, my third child wants to go to the park, they are all picking up on my obsessions about germs and contamination and I know that I am unintentionally teaching them my stupid behaviours.

The pound shop talc pressie must have gutted you, after all we would all much rather be happy and able to go anywhere we liked whenever we like. When I had my first son I believed that a new focus in my life would help me to get over PD and it did seem to for a while. Unfortunately my family support is poo, my husband does what he can but has bipolar and totally lacks motivation to do anything sometimes. I am greatful that my pre-school children have a place in nursery a couple of days a week because I know they get out and do something there, instead of being stuck indoors frustrated every day.

I do worry about the future, I worry that my children will turn out like me. I expect that they will because they do not know any different.

Oh I am moaning again. Thats all I ever do!!

Parenting is the most difficult thing even if you without psychological or health problems and there is always something for us to feel guilty about. I am not sure that there are any answers, we just have to ride with it sometimes. I hope that you are feeling better about the whole thing by the time you read this.

Take care, you are not alone.

Freakedout