I'M CROSS - AND NEED TO RANT

[kate]

Lucky,

Yes, I agree, wouldn't be without mine either.

BUT, wait til they turn into teenagers!!!!!

No hugs and kisses then, they don't even want to be seen with you.

Only yesterday my son (15) left his lunch at home.

Being a lovely caring mom I took it up to the school with a piece of paper stuck on with his name and form on it.

As soon as he came through the door after school, he started telling me how dead embarassing it is when your lunch box, with yellow lid, is brought into the classroom and how even more embarassing it is when your name and form is stuck on it!

He said I could just have brought him some money into school instead for him to buy a dinner.

I pointed out that that was a bit pointless as his sandwiches were already made!!

Anyway, the moral of the story is LET THEM STARVE!!!

So, Lucky, make the most of them while they are still little!!

Kate x

[Matt]

Now wheres the doctors phone number... Time for the snip[] hahah

[nomorepanic]

quote:Originally posted by Lottie32

I couldn't move any further forward cos there was a dazed and confused elderly person in front who smelt of cabbage and wee.

ROFL []
Are we starting a new campaign against smelly OAP's now.

You do cheer me up Charlie

Nicola

[Laurie28]

Charlie,

Bah bah bah!!!!!

You are having bad experiences with kids!!! Not all kids are like that or u wouldn't be stating these particular instances!!! Anyway don't u stick your tongue out to children in supermarkets? what do you expect!!!!

Kate - what were you thinking off - lol!!!! do u know what u have done to his street cred now!!!!!

Anyway my kids are driving me dappy at moment (both of them) so someone else pls step in and defend our future doctors, lawyers and indeed dentists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lucky

[Lottie32]

Nic - NO. OLD PEOPLE CAN'T HELP IT. We will be old people one day (if the worry doesn't see us off first). It is a recognised part of the ageing process that you reach a certain age and start smelling of wee and cabbage. There is nothing you can do about it. It is not related to diet and personal hygiene, but is infact generated by the DNA thread Beta-gamma-shark, recently discovered which each person has, male or female.

Lucky - you are SOOOO wrong. All kids are bast***s. They are not sweet.

As a "dotty" (sorry doting) mother, can you explain why being kicked on the shin by a kid is "cute" and "he didn't mean it" he was just having a "laugh".

If I went a round kicking people on the shins would I be labelled as "cute". I'm sure that I could say "I didn't mean it" a million times - I'd still be banged up - either awaiting trial for assault or in the local mental asylum!

Nothing is every anybodys fault, and kids get away with too much by virtue of simply being kids. Well I'm a big kid at heart, and I'm going to start doing exactly what I want to do, when I want to do it, and just blame my behaviour on being "cute", or "just messing".

Kate - your kids is an ingrate. For the next week, make him make his own pack up. Or let him starve. Or, make him realise how not really embarrasing your actions were, but waiting till lunch next time, and go running into the canteen shouting "Timmy, Timmy, don't worry mumsie is here, with your dairylea soldiers. And I've remember your favourite Sally Strawberry Munch Bunch yoghurt"

(Obviously, it will be more embarassing if you substitute Timmy for his own name)

When he gets home, simply point out that you were teaching him that embarassment comes in degress, and he has now experienced several depths!!!!!

Lucky

I only stick my tongue out when suffering from a hangover. And I only do it to horrible (all) kids who deserve it.


Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[Matt]

very good and very true!

[Laurie28]

Charlie - You have completely lost the plot this time I have to tell you!!!!!!!. the child was merely stretching his dainty little legs and exploring the world outside his buggy and there was you STANDING IN HIS WAY!!!!!!! how insensitive of you! I mean how could you!
Not all kids are like that Charlie I think it is neither cute or sweet to kick anyone!!!!!! Even if it is the grumpy thirty something scary women who is sticking her tongue out to me!!!

Matt - Do Not agree with her you are only encouraging her

Lucky

[kate]

Charlie,

Nice idea LOL

My son does not understand how embarassing I could be to him if I put my mind to it!!

Will definately bear in mind running into canteen with lunch box.

Could be a good blackmailing tool haha

Kate x

[nomorepanic]

Charlie

I can't stop laughing at your post - I do hope you continue on your "hate children" campaign cos I love it!


Nicola

[Lottie32]

Nic

I don't hate all children. Every so often I have a moment of mild amusement.

On Tuesday evening I went round to sit with my best friend, who has two children under 18 months (stupid cow - I've lectured her before about contraception, but just cos she's married, she doesn't think she has to worry about that sort of thing anymore. This is quite a common mistake, and I would just like to remind anybody in a long term relationship, or who is married that you still need to use precautions, or else you too could end up afflicted. And it lasts for years - I mean, I'm still afflicting my mum, and I'm 33 ha ha ha)

Anyway her new baby cries all the time. For some reason (and she has been checked out at hospital/doctors etc etc) the new baby only poohs once a week (but when she goes - boy does she go) and is consequently constipated for 6 days. This is uncomfortable and she cries a lot poor thing.

Before any of you afflicted people start e-mailing top tips to make the baby sh*t - don't bother - I'm not interested and Rach has tried everything in the book - and more - from aromatherapy to reflexology to classical music to baths to stomach massage, three million different types of milk (as well as her own) a trillion different types of bottles, dummies, no dummies etc etc etc.

Anyway, her husband Mark goes to computers on a Tuesday, and two kids under 18 months, particuarly when one is screaming all the time is just too much! So being a super lovely kind person (but not that nice or else I wouldn't still be single ha ha!) I went round at tea time and did some chores, amused the older child, bathed the baby (it's great - there is never any danger of dirty nappies), and generally cleaned and tidied the house.

I had come straight from the gym, and after I had eaten, and got some semblance of order restored I decided to have a shower. I laid out my clean clothes and jumped in the shower. (Rach has a super dooper mega power shower that a family of four can fit into). After ten minutes of baby scream free silence, I got out the shower.... to discover that although my combats and t shirt were there, I had no underwear. I couldn't wear my glasses cos they were steamed up and I HAVENT GOT CONTACT LENSES ANYMORE, so I was very confused. Wrapping myself in one of Rachies big towels (which is on her - but then she is only 5ft) I went to investigate (not a pretty sight)

Dripping into the lounge I discovered Scarlett (the 18 month old) with my pants on her head, a sock on each foot, and my bra round her neck.

Apparently (Rach lives in a converted chapel, and the house is all on one level), Scarlett loves clothes, and often sneaks into the bathroom, and plays with the clothes in there. I'm so glad I'd put my dirty gym kit straight in my bag - I think my socks would have killed her. So whilst I was in the shower and blind COS I'VE GOT NO CONTACT LENSES - she had snuck in and stolen my undies.

And that is my (very long winded) mildly amusing child story.

LUCKY - thank you so much for explaining that. I feel so much better knowing that the little lamb was ONLY STRETCHING HIS LEGS, and not trying to kick me at all!!!

How stupid am I????

MATT - (and Nic) Ignore Lucky, encourage me if you want to, but it won't make the scrap of difference anyway - cos I HATE KIDS

KATE - I'd work out several maximum embarassment scenarios and use them to bribe your child at every opportunity. Remember though, you must be willing to follow them through so don't do anything that will embarass you, just in case he calls your bluff.

Love

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.