Hi im Ali-1983

[Ali-1983]

Hi guys and girls. Just wanted to tell you my story and if any of you could give me some advice or tell me what you think that would be great.

Sorry if its a little long...i just want to get it off my chest.

I was made redundant in July. I wasnt really bothered at the time as i felt it was the kick up the backside i needed. I was in a comfort zone...picking up a wage doing a job i didnt really care about. Anyway i partied alot and played alot of golf too during the summer months. I never do drugs....except alcohol..... but in August someone offered me a "legal high" pill and i took it. It was a really stupid thing to do but it was a Sunday night, i had no work the next day and i thought...its not illegal what harm could it do. Turns out alot!.....i couldnt get to sleep the next day and my heart started to race. I went to casulty and i was kept in over night. It was a terrible moment. When in hospital i prayed to god that i would live. The next day after i woke up after finally getting to sleep, i had a new found respect for life and felt like i had to go to church to thanks God. I also spoke to the hosptial minister and he said that you dont need to go to churh to talk to god and said a prayer which made me feel better.

When i got home i thought to myself "i nearly died and i've done f*ck all with my life" i started to apply for lots of jobs. I wasnt hearing anything back and i got depressed. I was going to the gym alot to combat depression and fill my spare time. This helped alot. Health wise i felt fine. No problems at all.

Then in December i was out and i got spiked/picked the wrong glass up or something. I started to feel awful. I went home and couldnt sleep. Decided i should go to casulty. When walking along the road i thought "oh oh you are in real trouble here" i stared to run there. When i got into casulty i couldnt talk properly or use the pen to fill out the form.....this lasted for 30secs then everything eased and i told the doctor what happened. They did tests and everything was fine with my heart/blood pressure. They confirmed with a urine test that i had been spiked...cocaine or speed or something else bad....cant really remember as i didnt want to beleive it. Anyway they sent me home to ride it out.

This is when the real problems began. That week was terrible. I was fine during the day but at night i felt like i was having a heart attack. I went to casulty every night for 3 days to be told im fine. They gave me vallium to get to sleep. The 4th night i told my mum and she sat with me through that night. I kept saying to her that i need to go to casulty and was rolling about the ground.....and she said no, calm down, listen to music. At one point calmness just hit me and i managed to get to sleep without any vallium. That felt great. The next day i went to my GP and told her all about it. She gave me a urine test and ECG.....everything was fine. She also gave me betablockers which i took for a couple of days but stopped as i dont really want to rely on medication.

Over Xmas days i felt fine....i felt short of breath a few days but nothing major.
At new year i got the flu.....i remember thinking to myself that people can die with the flu and what if this fever gets worse etc etc....thinking really bad things. Anyway i got over the flu but a few days later i started to feel dizzy. I couldnt get over these dizzy spells that came and went and thought something really bad was wrong so i booked a complete BUPA test. The days running up to the BUPA test i felt awful. Like i was going crazy, my sleep patten was all over the place. I had thoughts like "i cant wait to be asleep as being awake feels horrible". I also felt dizzy too.

I went to the BUPA test and i told them about what had happened and they said it was all anxiety. My blood pressure was a little high but he said it came down after they took it a 2nd time and it was anxiety that raises it. Anyway.....everything was fine with my health.

Then good news came when i heard i got a new job. Its my dream job and ive been working there for the past 3 weeks. Really enjoying it and i get to travel a bit too.

However i still get dizzy spells from time to time and tightness in my head and neck. Its usually fine during the day......when it gets to nighttime it comes on. When i dont have dizzy spells i get weird feeling around my heart area like heart burn. This also comes and goes. I also get really dry lips when im dizzy/heart feelings. One time i was brushing my teeth and i was dizzy. I started to feel this panic come over me and i lost the power to grip my toothbrush for a short time til the panic feeling went away.I get other feelings too like muscle tightness, tightness in my head and neck. pains in my head. blured vision. sore eyes. itchyness. jaw feels like its locking. sweaty feet. feeling like something really bad is wrong with me. I could be walking along the road and i feel like i could get hit by a car and panic a bit.

What gets me is that i can be fine during the day, feel relaxe and the dizzyness/heart feeling comes on with no warning. Really gets me down. In a way i hope it is anxiety as i always have the feeling something has been missed and that im having/had a stroke, tumour, blood clot etc etc.

I've heard that going to the gym helps and i would really like to get back into it as ive put some holiday weight on over the xmas time. But its hard to when you are dizzy or you feel your heart is sore.

Ive even stopped drinking.....havent drank since xmas day. I only go out to the pub to play pool for my pool team when its less busy and i drink blackcurrant water.

Ive got it in my mind that i should be 100% health aware and i've started watching what i eat and taking vitamins.

I've looked into getting therapy and i dont really want to take any medication for it.

I just want to get back to the way i felt before. Happy, not worried about my health all the time. I also get the feeling like i'd like to spend a month in hospital getting every test possible for peace of mind.

Anyway thaks for reading this.

Ali x

[nomorepanic]

Hi Ali-1983

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[JT69]

Hi Ali,

Just read through your post and it seems to me you are suffering from anxiety/health anxiety. Sometimes you can have every test going but you still think something is wrong. I suffer from anxiety and sometimes worry about health things too so can totally relate to where you are coming from. The drugs you were given/took may have kick started something off as I know people this has happened to.

You are doing the right thing by seeking some therapy to see if this will help and also the gym will do wonders. I know for me I always feel so much better and healthier when I excercise regularly....try doing some gentle excercise and gradually building up....this will help with the anxiety.

I think the fact that you are o.k during the day and it comes on at night is because you are occupied during the day whereas at night you can think about things, dwell on them and then they esculate.....try and think that if something was seriously wrong with you then it would be happening during the day as well and it would get worse.

Hope this helps and I wish you well!!

By the way welcome to NMP, you will find alot of support here and make friends with people who totally get where you are coming from.

Take care.
JO.xx

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi and welcome to NMP
Paige x

[buster_uk1967]

Hi Ali.

I too am a sufferer of anxiety, My fears are echoed in your post. I have the meds but don't want to start them.

[Ali-1983]

Hi Guys,
Thanks. I did a 2.5 mile run today which made me feel good. I've got a little tightness in my head and back of my head but i'm thinking calm thoughts and i know this is nothing to worry about.
I guess i'll take each day at a time.

Im really glad that i found this forum and hope to post regularly on it (about postive progress and hope to read positive progress from you)

Ali

[angelica1414]

Hi Ali
firstly iv found this site to be a God send over the past few weeks as iv learnt so many other users have.

I can so realte to your post and just wanted to tell you that your not the only person out there who thinks like you do, im quite confident in saying i dont think theres nothing physicaly wrong, if there was im sure you wouldn't be doing half the things you do.
But that dont make it feel any better.... i know, in your mind these things are real and they worry you, i think your a smart person looking into therapy,keep us informed to how things go, and i wish you well. xx linda xx oh well done on the new job by the way

[Ali-1983]

Hi Ali
firstly iv found this site to be a God send over the past few weeks as iv learnt so many other users have.

I can so realte to your post and just wanted to tell you that your not the only person out there who thinks like you do, im quite confident in saying i dont think theres nothing physicaly wrong, if there was im sure you wouldn't be doing half the things you do.
But that dont make it feel any better.... i know, in your mind these things are real and they worry you, i think your a smart person looking into therapy,keep us informed to how things go, and i wish you well. xx linda xx oh well done on the new job by the way

Thanks.

Yeah its great to be able to relate to so many other peoples problems and read how they cope with it.

Im begining to get it into my head that i do have anxiety and that there is nothing sinster wrong with me but it can be hard at the time when an attack comes on. The worst thing i did was type my symptoms into google......im the type of person that can see some chicken flu on TV and get it into my mind that i have it. I also have the tendancy to jump to conclusions and over react.

Im looking forward to my therapy next week. Im also slowly going to get back into running. Ive got a target weight im aiming for and im going to get a whole new wardrobe when i reach it. Im also thinking about using my running training by doing a marathon for a charity.....that would make me feel better in my mind too.

I know that im not going to feel 100% over night and im going to have ups and downs but i feel better about the journey now. Take the bad things thats happened and turn them into a positive outcome.

Anyway i hope you are doing well.

[angelica1414]

Hey Ali
Its great your thinking the positive thoughts along the way and you know its not going to happen over night, that IS the way forward with this condition. well done already
just wanted to ask if you have read the health anxiety article....you'l find it down the side <<<<< i found this to be most informative the other day and shed soooooo much light on to the illness .....its quite a long article but very interesting, give it a go if you havent already xx linda xx

[Ali-1983]

Hey Ali
Its great your thinking the positive thoughts along the way and you know its not going to happen over night, that IS the way forward with this condition. well done already
just wanted to ask if you have read the health anxiety article....you'l find it down the side <<<<< i found this to be most informative the other day and shed soooooo much light on to the illness .....its quite a long article but very interesting, give it a go if you havent already xx linda xx

Hi,
Yeah ive just noticed that now. Im going to give that a read right now. Im also going tp look at the health anxiety section in the forum. Im sure i'll be able to relate to alot of the stuff.

Ive started taking vitamin B and C tablets and ive been feeling better for it (maybe its in my mind).