struggling please help

[sunshine777]

hi

i try so hard to get through things been suffering for so many years - was working full time etc - that was hard as feel i cant relate to anyone - kept on asking help from the nhs - got some help through work - in july my mum got diagnosed with lung cancer a mth later was told she has breast cancer too - i tried to struggle on with my probs look after my mum and work - in nov hit a brick wall think i had a breakdown i was in and out of ane and docs surgery - crisis team didnt help me much seemed to patronise me - anyway i got through it it wsa the darkest hardest time of my life and i obviously stressed my mum - work kept on ringing me each week i told them to stop as was causing me more anxiety whilst i was off ill - things were picking up i got offered dbt therapy - i worked so hard at it to change my life even though i was in so much pain - anyway struggled 2 weeks ago - therapist got worried - then bang was hit in face my mum had a mini stroke fri - it feels like my whole world has been rocked again - im so exhaused and scared for my mum - ive not been sleeping - the pain has hit me so hard again - i cant stop crying when im alone - not sure what to do this time - feel im being a nuisance work want a meeting tue to discuss hrs for when i return i dont feel up to it

[gypsywomen]

sorry to hear about your mum it must be hard for you both ,you need to try and be strong for your mum ,,she will be feeling so scared ,, maybe working would help take your mind off ,love

[midgey]

Hi Sunshine,

You are really having a hard time, and without anxiety I think anyone would be finding it hard with having the double cancer blow your mum has had.
I think it's important to not be too hard on yourself. Don't expect too much. There is no rule book that says you should feel one way or another.
With regards to work I would ring your manager and say you don't feel able to attend the meeting on Tuesday. I had the same issues with my work a few months ago. I rang my manager and said I didn't feel emotionally strong enough to come on my own so I took my husband as my representative. Have you an occupational Health Department? Maybe if you could see them they may take the heat off you for a while.
I have found throughout my struggles with agoraphobia and anxiety that I have tried to keep lots of balls juggling in the air at the same time. My advice would be put off the meeting for Tuesday, maybe get someone else to speak to your manager, explain how things are with your mum and tell them you will be intouch when you are ready and not before.
Wishing you lots of luck and hugs as I know how stressful this can all be. My Dad died last year from cancer.

[yvonne_uk_98]

Sorry to hear about your mom, and that your going through a difficult time, thinking of you, sending you lots of hugs...

[anx mum]

hi

i try so hard to get through things been suffering for so many years - was working full time etc - that was hard as feel i cant relate to anyone - kept on asking help from the nhs - got some help through work - in july my mum got diagnosed with lung cancer a mth later was told she has breast cancer too - i tried to struggle on with my probs look after my mum and work - in nov hit a brick wall think i had a breakdown i was in and out of ane and docs surgery - crisis team didnt help me much seemed to patronise me - anyway i got through it it wsa the darkest hardest time of my life and i obviously stressed my mum - work kept on ringing me each week i told them to stop as was causing me more anxiety whilst i was off ill - things were picking up i got offered dbt therapy - i worked so hard at it to change my life even though i was in so much pain - anyway struggled 2 weeks ago - therapist got worried - then bang was hit in face my mum had a mini stroke fri - it feels like my whole world has been rocked again - im so exhaused and scared for my mum - ive not been sleeping - the pain has hit me so hard again - i cant stop crying when im alone - not sure what to do this time - feel im being a nuisance work want a meeting tue to discuss hrs for when i return i dont feel up to it

Hi sending u bigsorry to hear about your mum. Dont worry bout work at mo think of yourself. Its hard enough battling with this anxiety and helpng your mum.

[sunshine777]

thanks for the reply - sorry i didnt know i had one thats why it took so long to get back

[JT69]

Hi Sunshine,

Sorry to hear about your mum. Take the time to be there for your mum and get yourself in the right frame of mind before even thinking of work....what is more important??? Work will be there when you are ready for it.

Take care.

Jo.xx