Need General Anaesthetic and can't cope

[MrsNervous]

Have not long returned from appointment with my consultant who wants me to have a small op under GA.
I have already managed to get him to give me a couple of months to think about it at my last appointment in December and despite him trying to persuade me to come in and have in done in the next couple of weeks I've had to say no.(I'm off on holiday on Mar 1st and just can't face it before I go away)
I have appointment for when I get back to try and get me sorted and arrange a date for the op but I am terrified of GA. Seen my GP who agrees with my consultant that it is a phobia (finally after years of suffering and just being told I was just nervous and horrible pre-op experiences of being told to pull myself together, patronised, scolded etc etc when I got very upset prior to going to theatre). I have appt in April for Phobic CBT assessment.
Cried so much today, feel like consultant will eventually get fed up of me and refuse to help me any more, he is a lovely man who I have had surgery with years ago, but I wonder how much my crying and reluctance tries his patience
I need to have this op to find out the cause of my bleeding. Had CT colonography that showed no cancers, but I do have some diverticulae. Wish I didn't feel like this, but the anxiety of trying to find a way to accept the GA and deal with the build up to the day is just fuelling everything.
GP gave me online CBT to follow to see if that helped but it drove me nuts, the irritating guitar music in the background and the whiny, patronising woman's voice I just don't know what to do. Need to find some kind of coping strategy but just floundering about and crying lots at the mo

[daisycake]

You might have already asked about this but have you ever enquired about pre-meds? Sort of like diazepam etc that you are given a good dose off just before you go to theatre, to keep you calm - both my sister and I had this and it leaves you really sleepy, floppy and relaxed.. I can relate to nasty hospital experiences as some of my first experiences in them as a wee girl weren't always good - I was restrained during injections (i.e. one nurse/doctor holding each limb) and various other things. They have - depsite what the media will tell you - now improved a lot and you'll find people will be a lot more willing to help you. 20, even 10 years ago there wasn;t the understanding that thee is today.

Dont worry about trying your doc patience - helping you is what they are paid for.

Have you ever had a GA (I've had two plus countless locals)?

Trust me if you choose to go ahead I am sure it will go fine - you might even see about staying in a private room if the idea of a ward doesn't fill you with joy?

As for the anaesthetic itself (from what my sister experienced two weeks ago):

- She wore button down jammas to theatre - is this something you could do?
- She was given EMULA cream (numbing) so she couldn't feel any jabs in her hands
- Pre-meds like I said - helped her get relaxed, she cant even remember going to theatre never mind going under
- The actual going under does not hurt at all, you feel relaxed and a wee bit drunk but as soon as you realise this you fall asleep in the blink of an eye - and then next thing you know, you're awake and it's all done (the first question I think everyone asks, is that it all done now? )

I'm sure you'll be OK - PM if you have any questions but don't worry about bothering your doc etc - they're there to help xx

[Hazel B]

Hi, I've had anaesthetic about 7 times when I was a kid, once for wisdom teeth removal and 3 weeks ago for gallbladder removal. The staff will know how to put you at ease and you can have "pre-op" drugs to help you stay calm. The person in charge will be very experienced and know how to deal with any concerns. You sometimes count down from 10, but a few weeks ago I can't even remember going under, you just come round with absolutely no memory whatsoever.

Logically, you must know that you do need this procedure for the sake of your health, though I know anxiety can override all our rational thoughts. Maybe talking to the anaesthetist in advance could help you? You could devise a coping plan with pre-meds to zone you out and ask questions in advance?

Take care.

[MrsNervous]

Thank you so much for the replies.

I totally fear losing consciousness. I've had ops before and know that just like going to sleep you don't remember, but I fear that "what if I am aware of losing consciousness?", it is the forced losing of consciouness rather than the natural going to sleep kind. Does that make sense?
I never get drunk because I absolutely hate that woozy feeling it gives. I also have GAD and a fear of dying. A right old mix up of dread and fear, that's me.

Pre med: I asked if I could be given sedation so that when they take me to theatre I am really out of it but consultant said no, as they don't do it anymore (??? ) I will just be on the day case unit and will only be out for a short time while he ....ahem, 'explores' to locate the source of the bleeding. When he told me this I cried more, and said did he mean that I would arrive at theatre as wide awake and conscious as I am now and just hold my hand out ready for anaethetist to knock me out and he said yes. Told him, sorry, I really can't do it, I can't just go to theatre 'stone cold sober'

Previous GA: yes, has a few ops in the past. Mostly all a complete nightmare re getting someone to actually listen to my fears and not just be written off as 'a bit nervous'. I've been variously scolded, threatened that the op will not take place as the anaethetist will refuse to put me under etc etc. I've cried so much, so many times. When I had my hysterectomy (about 7 yrs ago and this was my last GA) I went privately and the consultant brought the anaethetist to talk to me and gave me lots of pre-med. They allowed my husband to accompany me into theatre and I held on to him for all I was worth while they put me out. But the ride to theatre I was crying so much and pretty distraught when I arrived and the anaethetist was really sorry for me. She suggested that hypnosis might help for future GA but as doc wants me to have this ideally in next week or so I haven't got time to get that sorted.

My stress levels now are sky high. I need to have this done, but the option for me to do it 'cold turkey' just send me into the stratosphere fear, anxiety, nausea. I tell myself I should try and relax and just go for it but I can't contemplate it at the moment. I also fear that because I won't be sedated prior to going to theatre that I could have a massive panic attack and refuse the op.

I just don't know where to turn for help. The only thing I can do at the moment is spill it all out here and cry on my friends' shoulders. Feel sorry for my poor husband as he must be getting pig sick of me by now.
I feel wretched.

[stressy]

I totally fear losing consciousness. I've had ops before and know that just like going to sleep you don't remember, but I fear that "what if I am aware of losing consciousness?", it is the forced losing of consciouness rather than the natural going to sleep kind. Does that make sense?
I never get drunk because I absolutely hate that woozy feeling it gives. I also have GAD and a fear of dying. A right old mix up of dread and fear, that's me.

Wow, you've described how I feel perfectly!

I also have to have a GA soon, for a minor op, and I'm petrified! But this will be my first GA, never had one before so I don't know what to expect or how I will react, it's terrifying!

The only comfort I can give you is this: You're not alone in your fears! Also, you've had GAs before, you know how it feels and you made it through last time so you will make it through again!

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Mrs Nervous would you be allowed to take your ipod into the operating theatre with you? That way you could listen to some soothing music on the way down or a relaxation technique? I think that they are being a little hard if they won't give you a pre-med even if it is day case surgery. You could ask your GP to prescribe some valium to be taken before you go in? I wish you well. I have had hypnosis and yes it would help to relax you. I had a hysterectomy in 2007, TAH and your day surgery won't be anything like that. EJ

[MrsNervous]

I think that they are being a little hard if they won't give you a pre-med even if it is day case surgery.

I've been thinking just that too. It feels like I just have to accept going to theatre wide awake or lump it I can't understand why, when my consultant knows how I feel and acknowledges that it is a phobia, why he hasn't offered me some kind of support to make the journey to theatre with minimum stress as possible for me Surely it can be no big deal to discuss my anxieties with the anaesthetist who will be assisting, and get him/her to give me a pre-med?

I feel emotionally drained