email friends wanted, and has anyone drank to self medicate?

[englishguy43]

Hi, i`m Dave. Just joined today. Would love to have some good caring friends to email.
Had my first panic attack 25 years ago when i was 18. Soon spiralled to so much more including regular panic attacks, g.a.d. depression, social anxiety and agoraphobia and no one to understand me.
Drank for many years to self medicate but this too got out of hand and became my way of life to cope.
Am now in AA and doing well. Have so much to talk/relate to about many, many anxiety related problems.
Am lonely too so would love some new friends. Take care. feel free to email me

[paula lynne]

Hi welcome aboard, its wonderful that youre in recovery, amazing!
I did a little councelling when my valium and vodka thing got out of control when I was first diagnosed 10 years back with panic attacks and depression. I still have a bottle of wine on a sunday, and maybe one in the week. Reasoning?-well, the valium isnt a factor now, so I guess I think its ok. Most of my non-anx friends drink double that! I know a few people here, male and female, and a few Im not sure about (lol), whove had problems with alcohol, but it wouldnt be right for me to name them, or send you a message of names.....so...I hope they read this and maybe get in touch themselves.

It would be great if you could start at the beginning of your story, maybe write a little bit every other day, and keep the thread going. Im sure lots of us will have something of value to contribute, and we always welcome your comments and support too obvioulsy. Its nice to know you. Very well done on AA xx

[SHYGIRLAJB]

Hi Englishguy.

Hi and welcome. Well done with going to AA. I suffer with anxiety, depresson and panic attacks. I am a really shy sort of person, but trying to make new friends. You can pm me if you would like my email address so you can email me if you wish.

Anita.

[blueangel]

Hi there

First of all, well done for getting into AA and recovery as that's a huge achievement. I've seen the problems that alcohol can cause, as at one time I lived with a binge drinker (and user of various drugs) for four years and it was very difficult indeed.

There are lots of fab people on here who are always pleased to chat and discuss problems.

[englishguy43]

Hi and thanx for replies.

Can`t believe how bad i`m feeling right now with anxiety and agoraphobia. Was doing really well last week with getting to AA meetings but now suddenly feel like i`m not coping and unable to even get out to the car.
Is not helping that the relationship i was in for 4 years has ended and that reality is now kicking in after several weeks apart and being totally blanked when i try to make communication.
The crazy thing is that she wanted me to stop drinking because it was sending me mental then when i do stop and get into AA she wants to end it because she was so possessive and did`nt want me going to AA.
It would be so easy to go and get smashed right now and escape what i`m feeling but hopefully i won`t.
I drank for years (most of my adult life) to deal with panic/anxiety, to deal with getting out and to avoid feelings of inadequacy and try and shut off from negative emotions.
Also was given hemineverin years ago when they were given out on prescription, they`re like what methadone is to heroine - to wean you off. I drank with them (6 capsules a day) and was totally away with the fairies and got addicted to them but was still prescribed them for several years even after overdosing on them several times and turning up at the doctors drunk for more.
Had hundreds of blackouts over the years, done some totally crazy things, lost my driving license twice for being totally out of my head, upset and lost my friends, lost my job, lost my relationships, have been in a coma, been beaten up many times and hospitalised for injuries and suicide attempts.
Eventually got myself off of hemineverin and then was given diazepam and got addicted to them for several more years, ate them by the handfull and continued drinking.
My doctor gave up and refused me anymore which intensified my drinking, the nhs were and still are (in my opinion) a complete joke who never helped but just sent me round and round the system.
Well over the past few years i managed to lessen my drinking at times but then it began to get worse when more stressed and ended up drinking like a fish and getting totally out of it more and more.
My fear is looking scared or anxious to others and this is so much of why i drank. My legs did and still do go completely to jelly and i can feel totally paralysed and unable to put one foot in front of the other then my whole body starts to shake and it must be so obvious and it is complete terror beyond belief, it hits me out of nowhere like a ton of bricks, the panic goes crazy and i just want to throw myself down and die, it`s the most humiliating feeling and too much to bear as it`s too intense.
Have been feeling a bit like this in AA meetings this week and end up leaving and then consider drinking again.
God, can anyone understand this?????? i feel so alone, humiliated and unable to be anything normal

[gypsywomen]

yes ,but you are on the road to getting better, the only way is up when we hit rock bottom never never give up

[kezstar]

Hi Englishguy,
Wow, sounds like you've been on a real journey, you've done so well!
I'm a fellow social phobic to the point of agoraphobia and have also used drink as a crutch to help me be more confident and to socialise,my teenage years are a blur of being drunk and mental health problems. I have to really be careful with alcohol, It's handy to use for confidence but i've relyed on it so much that i find myself slipping every now and then.
x