Cipralex journey

[Pcdaft]

you will be fine just try and dont worry about it as that will make it worse i used to get uptight about parents evening aswell ? you are doing great keep up the good work ? we all have our ups and downs ? take care speak soon ? xx

[Anxious-in-Canada]

SMB, don't be hard on yourself. More people than you can imagine get nerved up about things (social events, flying, speaking in front of people, confrontation....a multitude of other things.)

You will be fine, do what you can (your best) and be kind to yourself. If you can only stay for twenty minutes that is fine, the next one maybe you stay for an hour or the whole thing...keep positive.

Don't stress about the birthday, you are you and you are your daughter's mom. She will love having you around no matter the capacity, again just try your best. That is all you can do!

If you can, try not to take the diazepam, but if you need it don't stress it. Again next time maybe you won't need it....

It is funny, but the time leading up to tomorrow is far more stressful than the actual day...because we can't change the past, and live in the present and worry about the future....so the key thing is live in the now (present) the future is unknown and could be a million different things, so why worry on one particular outcome...this is something I have to work on too, I worry too much about what might be that sometimes I miss out on the "what is happening right now" stuff.

Chin up, you will be fine tomorrow. Enjoy your beautiful daughter!

[smb25]

Bit of a mixed report today, yesterday was (unexpectedly) a good day. Anxiety mangement class was ok and then I had parents evening, no panics and it went well. My daughter is doing fantastic at school. It was also her birthday (and I hate any type of anniversary) but actually felt ok.

PROBLEM 1: Then... last night, didn't have much appetite to start with but thought I need to eat something, I get my dinner in front of me, after about 5 mouthfuls I get the PANG... appetite gone completely, can't eat anymore, why is this happening? i didn't feel anxious.

PROBLEM 2: Sleep.... or lack of it. Went to bad quite late as was watching a film but just couldn't sleep. I was still awake at 3a.m, and now I feel bit rough this morning. I have looked into the Melatonin but it seems its not available here, maybe on prescription?? I will ask the doc on Friday. This no sleep is getting me down, I did drink some pepsi last night, could that have been the cause?? I have been prescibed zopiclone but don't like taking it, makes me feel strange the next day and I alsways seem to have a worse day the day after. Might have to relent tonight though. Not sure how much more of no sleep I can bear.

Sorry for the long post... but I needed to have a rant

[Anxious-in-Canada]

Let it out, don't worry about ranting! It is good to let your feelings out, they are your feelings.

Pepsi does contain caffeine, so depending on how caffeine effects you that could be the cause.

Your were stressing about yesterday and it is understandable that you probably were just coming off of all your nerves being on edge during the parent evening. Hopefully your appetite comes back today, try food that are easy for you: toast, cereal, fruits vegetables, fruit smoothies....etc) It is great to hear your daughter is doing well!

Melatonin, yes certainly ask your doctor. I am not certain if it is a prescription in the UK it is not in Canada. It can be purchased at the chemists, natural health stores and even Walmart (department store chain). It is a natural substance that we get from the food we eat, and we produce it through the pinneal gland. I will bore with a bit more detail here...

Sunlight stimulates the pinneal gland, and then as the day carries on the galnd then starts to secrete melatonin, which is nick named the "dark hormone." Melatonin tells the body and mind that it dark now and time to go to sleep. Which results in a deeper restful sleep. This is why it is used by people who suffer jet lag as the body's sleep clock is off, and supplemental melatonin can set the clock right.

So in countries that get little sunlight, low melatonin is common. add to this the lack of vitmain D, also produce with sunlight, and many people suffer Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)...winter time blues.

I can't tell you what is more significant, a good sleep through zopiclone or NOT feeling the strangeness of zopiclone the next day...but what ever you decide is fine, be kind to yourself.

Take care.

[smb25]

Strange day today, neither feel particularly anxious or "normal" / happy.

I did in the end take a zopiclone last night, needed some sleep.

Today all I have managed is to sit on the sofa with the lap top.

So overall, nothing to report, feel a bit like i have progressed as far as I will and this is kind of it.. ... im talking rubbish im sure.

Tuesday was my third week.

[Anxious-in-Canada]

It is a slow progression, stay positive and you will get there.

I am sure once the sleep comes around you will really start to feel better.

[smb25]

Day 24 update:

Docs this morning, he is pleased with my progress. I spoke to him about the Melatonin (sp?) but he said its not licensed in this country so he can't prescribe it to me . He said the insomnia and appetite should return in time (didn't say how long!).

We have agreed that next week I can do a phased return to work. Feel ok about it. Bit anxious but think thats just because i have been off so long. I think I need to get back and focus on getting some normality back in my life!

Hope we all have a good day

[Anxious-in-Canada]

Good to hear your progress is coming along.

Melatonin, ok since you can't supplement it you can do it naturally (depending on weather!!!) if it is sunny out, sit by the window for an hour (if possible) allowing the sunlight to hit you eyes and your forehead. Best to do this in the morning if possible.

Alos another alternative is Full Spectrum lighting, or a tanning bed...do a little research on the Light Therapy is can help on the prodcution of vitamin D (the happy vitamin) and melatonin.... just another suggestion so use it as you wish.

Getting back to work will help in getting you back to the routines, stay positve and take care.

[smb25]

There hasn't been sun in this part of the country for yonks!

Have slept a little better i think the last couple of nights, only woke a few times and have managed to get back off the an hour or so.

Had a really rough day yesterday, struggled with anxious feelings the majority of the day, managed to go out food shopping and visit a friend, it was hard but I did it. By the time the evening came i felt a lot less anxious. Couldnt eat all day but had a good meal last night.

Today feel a little on edge but not as bad as yesterday.

I am going back to work tomorrow so think this is why im having a bit of a rough weekend. I know i will be fine when I get there, its just the waiting......

[Anxious-in-Canada]

Hang in there, the unknown of tomorrow is probably playing on your mind.

You have done this before and you can do it again. It will probably be good therapy to get back into the swing of things.

Getting out helps too, good on you for getting out this weekend!

Just remember that the evenings are great and it will give you something to look forward during the day. Eventually your whole day will be like your evenings.

Take care