Feel empty

[loopy_lou]

Hi there, I have been on this site before but not for a while as I have been trying to overcome my problems, with little success.

I just dont no what to do anymore, when i feel like i am making progress, the next day it feels like ive made none.I have been to my doctor (who is a complete waste of space) so many times now I have given up on the health care service. I panic alot, but most of the time its on weekends, I panic about going out, or if my boyfriends ok, being on my own everything basically! I hate what my life has turned into, I used to be so happy and outgoing, now i feel like a nobody who can't get over the past. I am living with my boyfriend and he doesn't have a clue whats going on, i have tried to talk to him before but he doesn't understand, I think the thought of mental illnesses scares him like it does alot of people, but that isn't his fault. I told him before we got together that I had some problems and he was fine, but since then he doesn't like to talk about it, and neither do i because I no that he doesn't understand. I really do love my fella, i just take things out on him when i am feeling down, i hate it to because sometimes i feel so insecure about myself i feel like i constantly need affection from him *Going all clingy* lol, my family has given me support in the early days, sisters and mum were there for me but I no that i need to get through this on my own now, its not fair to keep dragging everyone down. I dont like seeing my friends or going out because i feel like people are staring at me and then i start panicking. I just feel like i am in constant battle with my mind, keeping me up for hours and hours some nights because it wont shut off!

I just feel so empty, like i dont no who i am anymore or what i want. Sorry its a but longwinded but I feel 100 times better now that i have wrote how i feel! Thank you everyone,this site is really great! Any advise would be greatly appriciated thanks
Love Louxxxxx

[ruth]

Dear Loopy Lou

welcome back!!! I do understand what you mean when you say your boyfriend does not understand what you are going through, my husband too has difficulty understanding mental health issues, my feelings on this are that unlike a physical illnesss there are things you can see, but with mental illness there is nothing visable, although we know only too well how debilitating and unpleasant it can be. Have you told him about this site, or indeed shown him around here he just needs educating like so many others.

As far as your gp is concerned try another if you are not getting the help and support you need, some are better than otheres dont give up loopy lou and good luck let us know how you get on

take care love Ruthx

[ruth]

Dear Loopy Lou

welcome back!!! I do understand what you mean when you say your boyfriend does not understand what you are going through, my husband too has difficulty understanding mental health issues, my feelings on this are that unlike a physical illnesss there are things you can see, but with mental illness there is nothing visable, although we know only too well how debilitating and unpleasant it can be. Have you told him about this site, or indeed shown him around here he just needs educating like so many others.

As far as your gp is concerned try another if you are not getting the help and support you need, some are better than otheres dont give up loopy lou and good luck let us know how you get on

take care love Ruthx

[a-little-room-to-breathe]

it can be hard to deal with the fact that the people around you cant cope with your illness, because thats what my mum is like. try not to let it bother you, and remind yourself that your boyfriend loves you because even though he knows about your problems you're still together!!
if it still really bothers you, have a talk with him and explain gently that you need to be able to count on his support through this. he probably doesnt realise how he makes you feel.
we all feel empty sometimes, feel like everything is going wrong, but hang in there, things will get better hun!!

katie
xxx

[Spice]

Hi

My partner had no idea about anxiety or panic attacks and the effects they can have until they affected me but after sitting him down and explaining it all he is so much more supportive. I have CBT and my therpist spends half an hour with him and me every few appointments letting him know how things are going with me and it gives him the chance to say how he is feeling.
I think that if you explain it to your fella he will gain an insight into just how you are feeling and this will make him understand why you are clingy and need reassurance etc.,
Have you thought about CBT or going back to your doctor and asking to see a counsellor so that you can talk through your problems with them?
You should also try to get a relaxtion tape and use it for half an hour before you go to sleep as this might stop your mind from racing and keeping you awake. I started listening to a Paul McKenna tape months ago and when I first tried to relax it was impossible but each night it got easier and now I often find I nod off when I'm listening.

This site is great as we are all going through the same and can totally support each other. Please try and stay positive.

Take good care
Spice
x

[Karen]

Hi Lou

Welcome back although I am sorry to hear that things are so tough for you at present.

I too have had bad experiences with doctors in the past but was persuaded to change GP and it was the best thing I could've done. The doctor I have now is so supportive and she has been brilliant at supporting me and sorting out the help I need. She actually listens to what I want and how I'd like my treatment to proceed and does everything she can to make it happen.

Do consider finding another doctor and asking for some solution focused therapy, like CBT for example. There is hope to recover and overcome these issues but sometimes we need some professional help with this.

Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey