This site is great and inspiring

[mariposa]

Ive been reading a lot of your posts, and some advice is brilliant. I get panic attacks and am taking seroxat 20mg. I used to only get them with flying..but after having my twins in september '05' (IVF), they entered all my comfort zones...its so unfair. After being such an outgoing, happy, sunny person who just needed a child to complete a perfect life...they turn up out of the blue. The children I have wanted for so long will now be brought up by a neurotic.....I would have been a perfect mother if the PA's had never surfaced.

I have to go to Spain next weekend to show the babies to my husband's family. But if I get PA's at home, how the hell am I gonna get on a flight and be abroad in a hotel/travelling. But Im gonna make myself do it. My GP has given me 14 tablets of 2mg diazepam, do you think that my 3 days in Spain will be ok if I take these?????

Any advice would be great......or do I need to ask for more, my husband will be with me the whole time. This is so crap,,,,I used to love travelling and was a real tomboy...up for adventures. I hate this vulnerable feeling.

Thanks for such a great site!!

[BambieEyes]

Hi hun,Im due to go to France in May and my doctor told me i can safely take 3 x 5mg of diazepam. So you could take a few 2mgs as and when needed.I always carry 2mg with me incase.
Take Care
x

[taf]

Hi, Mariposa!
First of all...wonderful congrats on your wonderful family addition! Re: the panics...mine peaked a tad upon birth of my two (or really, mainly after only my first child), and really waned. I think our hormones have much to do with changes we feel in our bodies. They peaked nastily upon taking my new position as a reading teacher at the jr high i work at..had been a profoundly special needs resource teacher, and never even had a panic...gosh...i think we all peak and wane a tad when we have such changes in life...and twins...girlfriend, pat yourself hard on the back for doing so beautifully and handling all that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would have been in a panic just keeping up with all you do!!!!!!!!!!!! Talk about brilliant. Please, take it from me, this too shall pass!!!! Think of your recovery in stages...not too far ahead or behind in any given stage as you heal. I was the panicwart of the century, and was able to travel to a holiday with another couple a bit back...something i thought i could not do...and i was a real traveler at one time...going into the Yucatan alone, and upper South America....you know this will work for you, too! And so what if you need the diazepam to help you...don't fault yourself or stress over it!
Also, please don't call yourself neurotic. Your kiddies are lucky to have such great parents who love them so very dearly.
Very best regards,
Taf, USA

[lisarose]

Hi Mariposa and welcome to the site. You will get lots of support and advice here, everyone is very friendly.
Congratulations on the arrival of your twins! My panic attacks started after the birth of my son in 2000, I had never had one before and hadn't a clue what they were, they just appeared out of the blue and I couldn't understand why I was getting them as I was so happy with my baby. I went on to suffer post-natal depression and general anxiety which stopped me leaving the house for 12 months as I was so scared of having a panic attack and thought I would die if I had one outside the house. I tried different meds but none of them seemed to help and I felt like I would never get better and I felt like I was the worse mother in the world. I gradually started to go out of the house again with the help of my mum and partner and found that each time it got easier. I started taking venlafaxine in August 2004 and I felt so much better but I had to stop last August as I found out I was pregnant with my third child which was scary as I am afraid my PND and panic attacks will return but so far I have been O.K and I am due to give birth on 22nd April. I am determined to enjoy this baby as I missed out on so much with my son and I am going to go back on the meds as a precaution. I still suffer with general anxiety but have not had a full blown panic attack for ages.
Try not to let the panic attacks take over your life and stop you from enjoying your babies (easier said than done I know). Take the diazapam and go to spain and have a wonderful time. You will have your husband by your side and I bet it won't be as bad as you think, sometimes it can just be the thought of doing something that is worse than the actual doing of it.
You sound like you are a brilliant mother and doing a wonderful job of bringing up your twins, just make the most of this precious time as they don't stay babies for long!!
If you ever want to send me a PM feel free or e-mail me.
Take care
Love Lisaxx

[trac67]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Try not to worry about your forth coming trip, you will probably find that you are so busy organising yourself and your little ones, that you will forget all about the panics.

Have a wonderful few days away.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[Alexandra]

Hi Mariposa

Welcome to the forum.

You will find lots of help & support on here.

Your not alone hun with how you feeling so your definantly in the right place for some good advice.

Take care & all the best with your trip to Spain next weekend.



Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[mandiemae]

Hello butterfly,

que tengas bien viajes.

welcome to the site, you will find lots of helpful information from the right people here.

knowing what spanish families can be like, you will be fine and dandy once you get there. they will adore the children and give you lots of help, (you might be lucky to get a look in at all, lol) I am sure you are a great mum, it will be very difficult with 2 wee ones. try not to be so hard on yourself.

wishing you all the best and look forward to hear how you get on.

Take care

Amanda XX

" knowing and regarding reality as it is, one should know the true facts about this earthly life and look at it without making excuses, and regulate ones daily life according to this knowledge and standpoint." - the book of Buddism

[mariposa]

Thanks guys for all of your help (yes mariposa means butterfly)

You are all so brilliant and really support others. Im thinking of going to that anxiety release group in surrey, as I live really close by and am due for counselling but on waiting list. I suppose its better to talk than to keep everything inside whilst putting on a front.

Wow.Taf....Yucatan.alone, I cant imagine doing that, that is amazing...una otra espanola(Amanda).....and Lisa good luck with your birth in April, a third child..now that IS fearless xxxxxxxxxxxxxxMaybe you guys are right about the hormone thing and it is a major change...I think having to stay at home in winter with screaming babies could be a factor.

Maybe having PA's reminds us how valuable life is....which is a positive thing!!!!

thanks guys

mariposa
xx

[sassy]

mariposa, firstly congrats on your twins! how wonderful..dont let the panic attacks ruin it. you sound a great mum and coping with twins must be tough at times ( i have 4 of different ages,,twins would panic me lol).
panic attacks are a pest and can certainly drag you down, but you are certainly not neurotic, just human.
my attacks stemmed from when i was pregnant with my first. after each of my children, they came back a bit stronger and since ive had my youngest ive been worse than ever. i also have diazepam and altho im too scared to take them, they go with me everywhere 'just in case' and just knowing i have emergency relief is a huge help.
take the pills if needed and dont be hard on yourself. your not alone.
take care
em xx

[chucklehound]

Hi Mariposa and welcome to the forum

Take Care

Chucklehound

xxxx