Hi, all! Thanks for just being here tonight. It's a joy to "talk" to a friendly group of support folks! I'm doing fine, and so glad to know that nomorepanic is always here...like a raft in a storm.
Rough day today - racially motivated (or shall I just say hooligan motivated) riot, very sadly, broke out second hour at the junior high I work at. I felt so badly for all. The kids were leaving classes to protest what some believe in as fairness for their beliefs in what they see as problems for immigrants to our country...good ideas and sensible thoughts some of the little ones had, and had planned to do a peaceable demonstration to bring attention to cause, but, as always I guess, the hoodlums or hooligans in the school decided to jump on the bandwagon, and incided quite an outburst...running down halls, jumping on school sheds...blah blah blah, ad nauseum. Then, they took to screaming down school halls...police had to be called...gosh.
Then, if that wasn't such a day, my 15 year old came home, and a boy had screamed hateful words at him, and he tried to walk away 2x...he finally fought...the kid followed him home!!!!!!!!! Gosh. He is ok, but he doesn't want to fight people??!! What is going on today.
Well, on a positive note, my son said, "Will you go out to dinner with me mom?" Churning inside, I thought..."What if I have trouble swallowing." (That's one of my last remaining panic symptom...totally off valium/alprazolam since Nov., with (knock on wood) no relapses!!!!!!!!) but I just said, "Heck!!!!! I'm doing this!" I had some issues swallowing (gosh..I think the anxiety day caused it LOL!) buttttttttttt, I forced myself and i mean forced myself to sit there and calm down...and if i choked and drooled all over my front, well, heck so be it!!!!!!!Well!!! I managed to swallow nearly the whole darned thing. My point to this long and boring drool story? WE CAN DO THIS>>>>WE CAN BEAT THIS THING!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't ever give up. It's darned painful, and folks who have never had a P.A. just don't get it!!!!!!!!!!!!! But....we can always come here and chat with those who know what we are going thru, and for that I am so grateful.
Please..positive thoughts our way for my son and the fate of the school. They are rumoring another walkout monday, and we must give state exams which our jobs rely on starting Monday. Well, breathe in, breathe out, right![8)] This too shall pass.
Love to all, Taf/US
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