hi,alcohol dependance and back smoking,please read x

[bexy1970]

hiya,ive not been on for a while due to the wonders of citalopram!!but i really need advice on how to control my alcohol,im in such a routine of getting my 2 cans of cider and bottle of wine every nte that ive got to stop it!! its my way of getting to sleep,not worrying etc,but its a vicious circ le as then i worry bout what im doing to myself by drinking so much!!ive also been smoking again after 3 years of giving up...stuck a patch on so i feel quite confident bout stopping again,its the booze every nte i need to stop!! ne advice please??? sorry for the long rant... becca xx

[countrygirl]

Wish I could wave a magic wand for you but its not that simple.

I don't know if this story will be a help or a hinderance but if it makes you stop and think then maybe it will be the jolt you need.

I always thought I was an only child - mother left my father while pregnant cos he was having an affair. End of story as far as I knew. Mother was a single parent in 1960's and it was very hard no benefits like now and apart from a few years between age of 7-11 she worked full time to support us. My mother was very bitter, twisted and had severe depression and should have had psychiatric treatment. I had a terrible childhood and the health anxiety I have now stems from what happened then. I could not understand why my mother was like she was just from what my father had done ( little did I know)

I am now 49 yrs old ( mother dead 10 yrs) and last year an old aunty (87yrs old and got cancer) decided she could not take the "secret" to her grave and told me that my mother and father had had a baby boy 8 yrs before me when they weren't married and he had been adopted - my mother had had to go into hiding (1953) and spent 3 months in a "home" workhouse more like before the baby was adopted. Everyone sworn to secrecy and told I must never know.

It took 9 months for social services to find my full brothers address and then I found out the he had died an alcoholic at age 47 same year as my mother died (2001). His widow kindly told me the story and said he managed to drink himself to death in 6 years and he had a massive brain bleed and died. He had a happy life, successful business and seemed happy and certainly had a loving wife from age 18 BUT he could not cope with having been adopted and from not being a drinker he suddenly used drink to cope with depression.

DON'T end up like this - so tragic that he never knew his mother had no choice in having him adopted and he had a full sister - his widow said he would have loved to have had a sister but it was 10 years too late.

It is so easy to drink yourself to death in a few short years if you have underlying health weakness ( his was blood vessel in his brain).

sorry if I have just depressed you further but sometimes a reality check can make you realise what you are doing and I hope with all my heart that you can at least cut down on your drink to none health destroying level.

[bexy1970]

thankyou for that,wot a sad story,its given me a wake up call,and made me cry too!! in a nice way tho! im goin to try,just need to get thro a few nights to prove to myself i can do it,i neva crave a drink in day or nething,its the night time habit coz my anx used to be terrible at nightxx

[countrygirl]

Sorry Becky for upsetting you but I was hoping some good would come out of telling you the story - I am not critising you either as I know how easy it would be to become dependent on prescription drugs like sleeping pills as I have a sleep problem probably anxiety related and some nights can only sleep with a pill which is not alot different to you and your reliance on alcohol its just the alcohol does more damage.

HOpefully you can at least cut down to one drink in the evening to begin with if you can manage to keep to that rather than go cold turkey.

[Greenman50]

Bexy , two cans of cider AND a bottle of wine is alot of alcohol .

I have a drink everynight , but i did have a 4 week break over xmas only because i couldn,t drink as my stomach was off .

When i started again i was buying the supermarket deals , you know a few creates of beer for £16.00 ish .
The trouble was i was drinking 8 cans a night , it was only weak stuff 3.5% alcohol , but i was aware it was to much.

I don,t drink in the day , never fancied it but come 9 oclock i want a beer .

What i do now is just buy 4 cans of beer at night . When i,ve had them i know thats my lot , i can,t drive out to buy any more and i,m satisfied i,ve had a beer , even though its only weak beer ...3.5% alcohol . About 3.5 pints .
In the summer i will be out in the Garden at night and plan to stop altogether . When i didn,t drink for a month i didn,t really miss it . I packed in the fags 5 months ago and will never touch them again .

Could you just get the wine to start with , pick a weaker rose wine and buy a bottle of soda water to replace the cider and mix them ?. This way you are drinking the same volume (amount) so it should take you the same amount of time to drink it , but the alcohol content is 1/2 as much .
This way you don,t feel like your doing yourself out of a drink , your not going "cold turkey" and you can be pleased with yourself that you have made a good start .
Drink is highly adictive for me as it gives that instant hit of relaxation , but i must admit i drink much much less now than i used to do , you do get used to less within the week , but you have to be hard on yourself to start with .
Also you could possibly have a word with your doctor , i know diazapam is sometimes prescribed to people (short term) who are alcohol depentdent but this might be a case of replaceing one vice with another.

Hope this helps

[bexy1970]

thanks guys, ive got myself a couple of cans, no wine!!!! and no cigs so heres my start xx

[scaredstiff695]

I'm not a drinker or smoker so can't offer much advicm. but i love junk foodlol. and one of my ways to cut down on cola manglw was to change my routine a little x x

[Greenman50]

thanks guys, ive got myself a couple of cans, no wine!!!! and no cigs so heres my start xx

[Emz]

Oh I know how it is. Its a vicious circle, the alcohol makes you feel better but then the next day it makes it worse!1

[bexy1970]

thanks guys x