Here goes - Citalopram the sequel

[kestral]

ive had an egc by the paramedics when i collapsed and the ambulance took me in and had another when i got to the hospital followed by another at a&e when i panicked a few days later and finally a 24 hour monitor done at the doctors and all came back ok and they decided my problem was severe anxiety, all in the last 6 weeks but a fast pulse still increases my anxiety.

[oldtime]

All the ecg's etc will increase the psychological anxiety related to your heart. So you will feel anxious when your heart rate is high. You need to believe that a fast heart rate will not harm you in any way. Try to gradually get used to having a faster heart rate and eventually over a long period of time you will start to loose your fear. When your anxiety is high it is really hard to do. You may benefit from medication to help you get on a more even keel.

[oldtime]

Went to see the docs again last week, for the first time in about 8 months or so. I talked about my recovery and how I still suffer from pain in my back and neck, and muscle tension. This is worse when I'm feeling under stress. So we decided I should try going back onto a low dose of Mirtazapine 15mg for another 6 months or so. This seems a reasonable idea, it my stop me from dwelling on my back pain and help settle down the muscle tension.

So I've been taking them for a week and had no side effects at all, getting very good sleep and my back pain seems already to have improved a bit.

[bigmo]

Excellent news, the great thing about this thread is its a journal to your recovery!

[oldtime]

I've now been taking mirt at 30mg for two weeks and 15mg for the month before that. I have not experienced any side effects.

The increase in dose seems to have knocked on the head the build up of stress that I had been feeling and my back pain is definitely improved.

What now, I guess it is best to continue on medication and let more time pass so that the nightmare of anxiety is left further behind me in the past.

I've had a good half term break camping with the kids, we visited the London dungeons and Chessington world of adventures. Had a great time on the roller coasters with my son which were really good fun, especially the Vampire and the Dragons Fury. Could not have imagined enjoying a roller coaster 2 years ago!!

[oldtime]

A couple of nights ago I had a trigger that switched my brain back into that anxious state, it was neck and back pain in the middle of the night. I went into full blown anxiety (feeling nauseous, faint and wierd) , this stayed with me for much of the day.

I kind of took myself to one side and said that it would pass, just get through the day let it be there but don't let it upset you. It's slowly subsided and now two days later I'm feeling pretty OK again if a little knackered. This is a blip, not nice but something I guess I can expect to happen from time to time. My sub-conscious brain still has a memory of that anxious state it can flip into.

[oldtime]

Pretty much back on an even keel again. I know that my back pain freaks me out, it is not so much the pain it is when it refers to other areas of my body or I feel sort of headachey but the headache extends down my neck and lower back. Difficult to describe, when I wake up in the middle of the night feeling like that it can trigger my anxiety. During the night you are not always thinking rationally. Still I practice my CBT and try to rationalise the way I am feeling and the anxiety quickly subsides.

Four weeks until I fly to the States, I'm feeling pretty cool about it. Will have another camping trip to Longleat in a few weeks time.

My garden project should be completed this weekend, I am installing the windows, started building this outdoor den almost a year ago!

[oldtime]

A trip to Longleat last weekend in the summer sun at last. Longleat is now an amazing place to visit, loads to do for the kids, beautiful grounds and lots of cute animals. We most enjoyed the Hunters of the Sky birds of prey show.

Thank god its sunny again!

[oldtime]

7 Days until my holiday to USA. I'm feeling the best I have felt in years. I'm starting to look fit and healthy again, not the gaunt ill looking me from 3 years ago.

I think its time for me to close this thread now.

If anyone is still reading. Always have faith, even on your darkest days there is always a spark of light to keep hold of. You can ride out anxiety and you can recover.

Good luck

Mark

[Alamie]

sad that you are leaving but happy it's for a good reason :-) good luck in your life oldttime and enjoy ya holiday!