Was diagnosed with ptsd this week and even though it helps me understand what is happening better my anxiety is at an all time high. Feels like all that is bad is closing in on me and it's going to suffocate me - just not coping like I should be, kind of need it all to just end cos I need to find some peace somewhere again in all this before it wins me - hate hate hate feeling this defective and useless - can't contemplate the rest of my life like this. Sorry not making much sense right now.