Hi everyone I havent been on much lately but I never forget where I got the most help and friendship from in my days of need so I thought it was time I posted an update on my progress and hopefully it will give alot of you the encouragement and reassurrance that you can turn your panic and anxiety around and live life how you want to.
When I hit the age of forty I developed a very severe case of panic disorder and anxiety which really crippled my life and pushed me into agoraphobia, even walking around the home and into the garden was a struggle and I really couldnt understand what was happening to me I thought I had gone mad because everything I used to be able to do became impossible for me and my life was so changed by it.
I went to many doctors and unfortunately never came across one who explained what or why I was getting my horrible symptoms which consisted of dizziness, faint feeling, trembling, blurred eye sight, light headedness, racing heart infact I think I have been through all the symptoms of anxiety, my life was a nightmare.
I am now 50 and I have turned my life around with the help of this site, which helped me find an insight as to why and what was happening to me and with the help of a book which I found in the library by Dr. Claire Weeks, those two things helped me understand what was happening to me and how to take control of my life and get it back to how I wanted it. It was a struggle, nothing has been easy but I had determination and found a really good friend who talked and helped me through all my bad days and today I can honestly say that although I still get my symptoms occassionally I am no longer affraid of what they are and no longer let them matter, they dont spoil my life any longer. I can now go out and do the things that used to seem impossible, I can have conversations with people without the need to run away and when school meetings and plays come up I know I will be able to attend them. My daughter is marrying in 3 weeks time and yes I know im going to be a little worried but I know I shall be there standing in the church being a part of the wedding and managing all those anxiety symptoms and enjoying life and not worrying about them.
I think I can say I am nearly there now and I have a life that I enjoy and feel comfortable being me now I havent got the need to run away and hide from the world I have become part of it again, it took alot of hard work and many tears and anguish to get here but it can be done I just had to accept myself for whatever I was and learn to work with what I had and not load pressure on to myself buy questioning why all the time and by doing that I started to make life easier for myself and reduce the stress and anxiety.
I hope this gives some of you the hope and the determination you need to move forward and I wish you all luck.
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