going out on a date

[jothenurse]

I have had a couple of invites out but am very nervous about meeting these guys. What do you do when you have anxiety issues and are trying to date? I sure do not want to tell them that I have anxiety issues. I think I can meet them at a restaurant/bar and have some pop and maybe eat a little and talk. But, it's after you do that, then they may suggest going to a movie or going for a drive out of town, or something that would make me really panicky. Anyone else been in this situation? I think it would be good for me to go out and meet new people, but don't know how to deal with things I may have trouble doing right now. Any ideas or what have other people done??

[sarahblonde32]

hi, it will be hard but will be worth it! im worried about dating, but i wont do it until im ready.....
if you dont think about telling them about the anxiety...you may not need to, they may just think you are shy. you dont have to go far out of your comfort zone..they should respect that.

good luck!!!sarah x

[shoegal]

I always tell people about my anxiety before I even consider meeting them. It takes the pressure off me to do things that I can't do without great distress and it means that they know what I'm like right from the start. It's a good way of weeding out the friends who don't understand as well! I hope you enjoy your dates whatever you decide to do xxx

[macc noodle]

You are who you are and your anxiety is only the smallest part of that - don't let it determine you or your friends.

You must do what you feel is right - if you have a need to tell them, then do so - then at least as Shoegal says you have less pressure !

Personally, I would not tell them until I knew them better but that would be my choice.

Go with the flow Jo and do what feels right for you hon.

[Lola-Lee]

Hi JoThere is no need to tell your date about anxiety,wait and see how you get along,if he wants to see you again and you feel comfortable with him,then you decide.It is up to you Jo.If you are a motor mouth like me,he probably would catch on that something is not all there.I have been on 2 dates and have'nt seen either.
Lola xx

[jothenurse]

Thanks for the replies. I did go out and meet this guy. We met at a restaurant. I actually had a very good time. I had a few times a panicky feeling (mostly associated with hot flashes and my heart started to go fast), but hung in there and it went away. Actually talked for 3.5 hours there. I ate a little salad, because it's hard for me to eat when I'm anxious. So, it went very well. The thing that I worry about though is some time they always want to go do more things, like a walk, or a drive, or go out of town to a concert. Don't think I'm ready for that. I don't feel it's necessary to let him or anyone else I may go out with in on my anxiety problems. Only if the relationship would grow.

[shoegal]

I'm glad you enjoyed your date. It's up to you whether you want to tell someone about your anxiety or not, but good luck with your future dates anyway xxx