first step to getting my life back

[jaynemarie]

Well end of 7th day. Doctor gave me some diazepam yesterday which i am now taking and i have to be honest it is really helping. I had a few good hours today when i actually forgot about health anxiety. I know its the diazepan helping but i am happy to use them for a while til the setroline kicks in. My kids are coming home the weekend, which i am really apprehensive about, but my mum is gonna stay and help. I love the 3 of em to bits, just scared it will knock me back a bit, cause i just want peace and quiet at the mo, does that sound selfish ?

[jaynemarie]

Well middle of the afternoon and i feel absolutely terrible. Anxiety levels sky high, really aware of my breathing. Our house backs out on to fields and its a beautiful day, i am watching people take their dogs out and how i wish i could do that. Feel very upset as i write this, cause i just cant see me ever doing anything like that again. Kids are coming home in a few hours, just dont know how i am gonna cope.

[jaynemarie]

Had kids home today, wasnt too bad. My kids are all different ages, 11, 8 and 2. So all require different things. Thank goodness my husband and my mum were with me, that helped. And also thank heavens for diazapam, i wouldnt have been able to have coped otherwise. Just wondered if anyone else had to rely on diazapan at first, and if so how long did they use it for. I am taking approx twice a a day x

[jaynemarie]

Day 11 weekend over wasnt too bad with the kids coming back. Mum has moved in to take the pressure off me. I am still having the breathing problems and very anxious still, but i do feel a little bit more optimistic. Major problems is energy levels, i do one lot of washing and i feel like i have run a marathon. Anyone else have this problem ?

Early afternoon had to go back to bed, chest so tight really stressed. So upset cause had quite a good yesterday. I just feel like giving up at the moment.

[jaynemarie]

Today has been a good day. Looked after my youngest and played with him which was lovely, as i am usually to self absorbed with my anxieties. I actually had time when i forgot about my panicking. Watched England with my eldest son, my husband was at the match, which he thoroughly deserves after putting up with me for the last few months. I know i may wake up tomorrow and feel rubbish again, but atleast i know i am having some good moments now.

[bajope]

Hi Jaynemaire~
Thats great that you had a good day today. I had an "ok" day yesterday and then an awful day today. It's so hard going back and forth. I started on 25mg. Today is day 19 for me and I finally was brave enough to go to 38.5mg today. I'm trying to get up to 50mg. I'm sure you'll see faster progress than me b/c I started on such a low dose and have been such a big chicken to increase.

Anyway, I hope everyday continues to get better for you!

We're all in this together!

Blessings,
Jackie

[jaynemarie]

Bajope i am very up and down as well. You should definately try and get onto 50mg cause i think thats what liz and patsa are on. Were hopefully on an upward path now. Keep me posted how you are doing as we are only a couple days apart on these tablets. Hope you have a good day tomorrow xxx

[Lizzyg]

Hi Jayne
So glad you are feeling better!!! I descibe it a bit like a rollercoaster you have the initial upward struggle and then up and down, up and down! I'm feeling ok most of the time now although still get physical symptoms. I'm sat here now with tremors and feeling a bit on 'the edge' but I know it will pass so I see it as a bit annoying now rather than scary!
Keep going we will all get there!! Keep us posted.
Take Care xxxx

[jaynemarie]

Thanks Liz, saying that i had an awful day to day. All the tight stress burning in the chest. Your right it is a rollercoaster, i think my head is a bit clearer,but like you cant stand the physical symptoms. The tremors are really strange i feel really on edge, but cant explain why. I hoping this will wear off eventually. I got my mum living with us at the mo cause i just havent got the energy to deal with my 3 kids. 13 days to day since i started taking them so it is still early on. Jackie hang on in there let us know how you are doing. Havent heard from Patsa, so i hoping thats a good thing. speak soon xxx

[haz]

Had kids home today, wasnt too bad. My kids are all different ages, 11, 8 and 2. So all require different things. Thank goodness my husband and my mum were with me, that helped. And also thank heavens for diazapam, i wouldnt have been able to have coped otherwise. Just wondered if anyone else had to rely on diazapan at first, and if so how long did they use it for. I am taking approx twice a a day x

I wouldn't look upon it as "relying" on diazepam. Many people give up on SSRI's too soon cos they can't cope with the increased anxiety which is an unfortunate side effect of SSRI's. The diazepam is part of your treatment to counteract this. Once your sertraline properly kicks and you're feeling better, then start to gradually decrease your diazepam. Don't stop it suddenly. I started sertraline 50mg about eleven weeks ago and I'm still on 3x5mg diazepam daily. My psychiatrist is in no hurry to decrease this but I will gradually decrease my dose by 2.5mg per month.

Best Wishes. x