I was doing well and then THIS happens!

[harasgenster]

Harasgenster, you say sex doesn't feel like it used to but could that be because you have told us you are anxious about your 'issue' and perhaps it's a mental block stopping you from relaxing and enjoying sex as much. Also anti-depressants can dull the sensations of sex and make it more difficult to reach orgasm although I can't remember whether you are taking meds or not. It might be worth trying new positions as I believe (*cough*) there are some which make the vagina feel tighter.

Yes, I think it could be that I'm distracted. I think things have loosened around there as well, though, because it doesn't physically feel the same. But my friend as said she'll go to pilates with me

I'm not sure if we've got any positions left to try! When my bladder was bad we tried it everyway we could think of to see if we could take the pressure off it.

My bf is sick of me worrying about this. I understand why it seems like a small deal but with not enjoying sex/feeling looser/being distracted during. I feel a bit...whatever the female version of emasculated is. That's why I kept saying I didn't feel like a proper woman. I know these are all womanly matters, so it doesn't really make sense, but I do just feel less of a woman now.

I'll try the pilates and try to stop worrying. At the moment I've just kind of decided not to have sex, which I don't think bf is that pleased about! But I'm so convinced I won't enjoy it that even if we do anything I have told myself so often that it won't be fun that it never is! I've kind of ruined it for myself with my thoughts!

[shoegal]

Poor you! You seem to get yourself so worked up about these things.

Please don't stop having sex with your lovely bf just because sex isn't feeling as good as it used to for you. Imagine how he's going to feel if you appear to have gone off him. It won't matter what you say, he is going to think he can't satisfy you or that it's just not doing anything for you which will upset him. Also, haven't you heard the expression 'use it or lose it'? I don't think having LESS sex will improve the tone of the muscles down there! Also, there is a lot to be said for having sex for 'bonding' reasons - it doesn't always have to make the earth move! I think you need to just relax and enjoy the moment rather than worrying about the (*cough*) ins and outs of it.