Sick of always being scared

[katiep]

I suffered with GA years ago and was left with a cancer phobia that reared its ugly head when i was stressed... i have struggled with stress lately following a family bereavement and car accident within a few weeks of each other, and boy the anxiety has come back with a vengance ..

Sunday, i noticed a light pink spotting, which could easily have been ovulation spotting which i have had sometimes over the years, but because i was stressed i immediately thought cervical cancer, the following day i kept checking to see if i was still spotting, all day every few minutes in/out bathroom and this continued tuesday and wednesday to be fair the spotting was minimal maybe one spot a day... by this time i had checked internet for all possible causes, and focused on cervical and ovarian.... i now have thigh pain n a little pelvic discomfort spotting gone completely... i did go to gp on thursday who knows my ha history, i told her my concerns she practically dismissed cervical cancer issue as purely stress, she didnt even seem to consider ovarian... she did get me on table to check tummy and gave it quite an examination plus sounded my tummy area and said everything was exactly how it should be.. i asked would she be able to feel if something was nt right she said yes of course.. she also said had it been anything to worry about regarding the spotting it would not be simple spotting it would be bleeding... i felt fine on the thursday but yesterday i got up with uncomfortable feeling down below and intermittent thigh aches.. while watching tv last night noticed i had no discomfor nor pain.. got up this morning and been thinking of it all day have intermittent aches in thighs and pelvic area goes away when i move.. but looked again at ovarian symptoms and suppose i could fit them all... but logically im not bloated very often or feel full i dont have abdominal pain, i have gained weight but because i eat too much nothing else... im fatigued but only because im stressed .. im so sick feeling rubbish but im so scared it is cancer.. as surely the doctor feeling my tummy cant really let her know i have nothing going on there.. x

[Janeeey]

i can completely understand where you are coming from as I too have worried about all 3 gynae cancers for the last couple of years. I have had many tests and all ok, but still I worry and it ruins my life. You are very young (I am 36) and your symptoms just don't sound like they would be cancer at all .. HA also makes us doubt medical professionals (I do all the times) but in reality they are used to seeing cancer / and non cancer every day for years and years so they do know what they are looking for. Have you had a smear before?

As much as I completely understand your fear I know that my HA and weight has led me to have weird periods, including pains for 2 years now and all tests have been ok - unfortunately doesn't stop the worry!

Do try and keep yourself busy though, all will be ok and you will feel better in a few days I am sure.

[katiep]

thank you for your help im 40 so not too young, and i understand exactly what u mean, i had a smear test a few years back, have not been regular getting them done due to being scared of the results [foolish i know] but after next period due next week i told my gp i would go.. i think the worst part about ha is if u read about a symptom u usually get it.. funny i didnt have sore thighs till i read sore legs could be ovarian cancer..x

[Janeeey]

Sorry for some reason I thought I had read you were 23! I completely know what you mean - I too have often suffered with pains in thighs - usually after I have read about it. I always try to remember that worrying or not does not change what is or is not happening and that going for the tests is the best thing to do - but I know that horrible fear waiting for the results! Do go you will feel loads better when you get the ok ... it does seem that as a female we just have to suffer with lots of problems with periods, I don't know many females that don't, but most don't worry about it but us with HA don't have that luxury! i just hope one day we can all get over the worry and just enjoy life again!! Take care x

[bashley]

Oh You are so like me,
I have ha, i have suffered for 6 years now it started about my heart and for years i though i would die having a heart attack. But now its cancer, my friend passed away recently from cancer and i think thats why its always on my mind. I too think i have some sort of cancer either ovarian or cervical. I am due a smear but i'm so scared of the results I'm not strong enough anymore. I recently had a transvaginal scan and have to go back as they found fluid in my cavity, I sobbed to my doctor saying its probably cancer she said unlikely due to my age 38. I have pelvic pain, thigh pain and now sometimes hip pain. My last doctor seemed to think ibs but i'm always thinking the worst. I hate being like this and i know i drive everyone mad, but i just cant seem to get a grip.
I'm so bad that when I recently had a blood test i stayed out all the time incase i got a phone call, then when i did get home i would unplug the phone incase it was bad news how bad is that. I havent even let my husband know that i did that. I'm constanly looking up my symptoms its ruining my life. But its so good to know we are not alone and everyone is so kind on this site.
Take care you will be fine.

[katiep]

It is difficult when you have a symptom, as being anxious its always worst case scenario, and finding this site is a blessing because you can say how u feel without worrying as someone will have either been in the same place as u or will help someway... i hate being as scared and like u had put off having a smear but im going to be brave and go after next period. also lost someone close in january to cancer hence this being so bad, plus a car accident too so guess all stressed up.. just want to be free again hate this feeling xx take care