Hi Everyone.
I've just stumbled across this site today. I've been suffering from panic attacks and anxiety for about 10 years now and it only occurs when I am away from home, more than likely abroad. I have had it when I have been away in the UK, but it is easily overcome by watching TV etc.
I first had one when I went to Scotland to meet a friend I spoke to on the Internet. I was 16. I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't sleep, I hardly ate anything and all I could think about was getting home as soon as I can, incase anything happened to me.
I've experienced this on many holidays since, I have friends in Amsterdam, I've had this feeling there on my occasions, but now I am used to the City and can fill my day up with interesting "distractions" I don't feel as bad when I visit the city. I also had this in Greece when I went on a holiday with many friends, I survived the holiday but due to the throughts in my brain and the constant physical features of my anxiety I felt like I needed another holiday when I got back!
It's such a horrible feeling, all rational thoughts are gone, I become very OCD about things and keep checking I have my passport and tickets and room key to make sure I don't get stranded. I can't talk to anyone new, I can't sleep, I threat that something bad is going to happen to me, I sweat, clammy hands, I can't breathe normally and the pit of my stomach feels like a big black hole.
On Monday I stupidly went on Holiday to Spain. My rational head told me I was excited and that I needed a break, I was nervous about having a panic attack, but thought I am now a dab hand at overcoming these and last time I went to Amsterdam, I had it for about 20 minutes, then it went. I arrived in Spain on Monday night and as soon as I got my bags from baggage reclaim, I felt it. This time it was soo bad and I was soo out of my mind with worry, I didn't eat at all and I didn't sleep. I kept having constant baths and smoking one after the other. I then went on-line and booked a flight home. I came home the next day.
I now feel like an absolute loser, I gave in to this anxiety, but it seems to be worse than ever before. Does anyone else suffer this when abroad? I love travelling, I love flying, I just wish I could get over these panic attacks and be normal. I'm ashamed to talk about it to anyone in my family. Please help.