Citalopram - increase dose needed or minor setback?
Hi everyone,
I've been on 20mg Citalopram since January now, and for a while had been feeling like they were working - I didn't feel sick every morning, could look at the future with hope instead of without and was coping well with my work again. I had suffered on and off with anxiety and depression for a few years beforehand, and, in November/December last year started to feel like it was constant and life wasn't worth living.
So, the Citalopram made an enormous difference. However, for about a month now I've been feeling like I'm sliding again. Today,it really feels like it. I don't have any appetite and I feel rotten. I think it may have kicked off because I went for a first session of CBT yesterday and really hated it. I ended up in floods of tears (and I haven't cried in ages) and my head has since been full of horrible thoughts. I thinkit might have been revisiting things which I really didn't want to remember, and also doing the exercises reminded me of last summer, when I had a bit of a breakdown, and had to do similar exercises in guided self help.
And this might sound ungrateful, but I feel like the therapist was barely listening to me. It sounds awful, but I feel they often put words in your moutyh and won't listen to what you're trying to say. She was saying, so you need some time alone, and your own space, when in fact I am terrified of being alone and can't stand it. My problem is not that I need "more time alone."
Anyway, I had a short blip where I felt bad around my time of month in Fenruary, but it eased off. This has lasted longer, and I don't know if it's time to increase the dose. My doctor, who is a lovely, understanding woman whom I trust deeply, has said this might happen, but is on annual leave til Monday.
Has anyone else had experiences like this with Citalopram/CBT? Perhaps I should only have attempted the CBT when I was feeling better, I don't know.
Sorry for the ramble, and any thoughts would be much appreciated.
Jenny x
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