??? phobia

[debbsi]

Hi
Not sure if this really is a phobia or just part of my anxiety. Not sure how you diagnose an actually phobia??

Anyway basically I have GAD, mainly health anxiety, and over the last few years since my mum had breast cancer have had a massive fear of getting it too. Previous to that my fear was cervical cancer.

So these 2 (of many other) fears have caused me many problems with my relationship with my husband. I wont go into detail but I'm sure you can imagine.

My fear of intimacy has lead to me examining our relationship, but that doesn't seem to have helped.

I have a lot on my plate at the moment and am very stressed, the doc gave me propanalol and referred me to the psychological treatment service. Probably for CBT if there leaflet is anything to go off, I have my first appointment coming up soon.

Anyway - just looking for any advice in overcoming this - the propanalol has helped a lot but not for this particular problem and I now fear my husband will get fed up with me - I wouldn't blame him :(

Deb x

[shoegal]

Hi. I am not sure what you are asking here? Are you saying that you can't be 'intimate' with your husband because you are scared of cervical cancer?

[debbsi]

I had some problems with slight bleeding after sex a couple of years ago. Freaked me out, but in actual fact the bleeding was minute, not really anything to worry about - I had a sensitive cervix which was cauterised. So this caused me to worry about having sex in case it happened again!!
I have more or less coped with that problem, but this added to the fact that I lost my libido long before that didnt help matters. Then the breast worry on top of this aswell. Argghhh, my poor husband - he really doesnt understand.
I'm sure this isnt the remit of a CBT therapist is it??? and the therapist is a bloke!!!
Which is why I am hoping for some advice on here x

[shoegal]

I think any thoughts or obsessions about your health should be discussed with your therapist. That's exactly the sort of thing they are trained to help you deal with. I don't think it matters whether your therapist is a male or female - trust me when I say they have heard it all before, and far worse! A therapist can help you work through your negative thoughts or obsessions so that you can rationalise them and stop them intruding into your life. If you are no longer being intimate with your husband because you are scared then your therapist can also help you work on that. If it's affecting your husband then I really think you should talk to someone about it. If you can't talk to your therapist, how about Relate?

[Kells81]

Hey Debs

Dont worry about the fact that your therapist is a man-tell him everything otherwise he wont be able to help.
The majority of posts on here suggest CBT as a great way of helping with anxiety, especially health anxiety so dont waste the opertunity by being too scared to talk about things because he is a man.

Have you spoken to your husband much about it? Maybe if he knew exactly what the problem was then he could help or at least understand why things might be hard between the two of you at the moment.

Sending Hugs

[debbsi]

thanks for the replies - I'll make sure i talk to the therapist about it - havent had my first appointment yet.

i have spoken to my husband before about it - but he doesnt really understand. Luckily for him he doesnt suffer with anxiety so finds it hard to empathize.

thanks again

Deb x