Dating

[phil06]

I've not had a long lasting relationship in three almost four years. I split with my ex of 9 months and had a one week relationship and for the past few years I've had the odd date here and there never went beyond that first date with no click. Usually it's been them that decide not to see me as it never worked out.

But a few weeks ago I eventually got a date again after a six month dry spell and got on quite well, I also liked somebody else so met them twice..but that never worked out it was a joint agreement we never clicked so I met the first one a second time and it went kind of okay but she was quiet compared to my usual type.

At first I felt yes meet her a third time but yesterday anxiety stopped me and I turned home and cancelled. So I feel guilty for that and guilty for feeling how I do..like I feel I enjoyed getting back on the dating scene but not sure if I'm ready for much with these ones I met. I feel bad because I should be grateful for the dates and company but I feel well nothing worse sitting in company and maybe feeling a little bored. But I feel awful because unlike some I've met there's no real faults with her just feel well is this what I want? Is there much click? so past few days I've felt really depressed I've only ever had to turn a couple of women down usually its them that decide where it will go so usually If it doesn't go well I move on by not having the choice.

But I've let i drag on and don't want to mess her around but I'm not sure if I should just not talk or try and put into words I'm not ready. I may have some more dates but I pushed them back as it's not fair meeting more until I kind of give myself time. Months ago I wanted a g.f but I seem to be in a phase where I'm not sure what I want again..and my mum never helped by saying I'd be single forever..I'm 22 btw..but I feel I want to enjoy myself more than I did in r.ships at a younger age..I'm actually glad I never settled and I enjoy meeting up with friends I never had years ago. But sometimes I feel a bit down and want company and a g.f again well quite alot but maybe I've just not met the right one?

But I feel really down, even if I'm honest I selfishly feel I'm throwing away a good chance but can't push myself for a third date..it's strange..has anybody else felt how I do?

[KK77]

It sounds to me like you're 'going through the motions' Phil. I do know how you feel - I've felt despondent and lazy with all this dating malarkey. I personally believe meeting someone randomly - wherever/whenever that may be - is better than 'internet dating', which I find very manufactured and tiresome. Not saying it doesn't work but it's a numbers game and I think it's exceptionally hard for sufferers like us cos one moment we might be fine yet all over the place the next.

Perhaps you do need a break from dating but sometimes the right person comes along when you least expect it, so keep an eye open