Depressed again

[Spagetti]

I stopped taking my ad's a good 6 months ago and Im back here again. All I want to do is cry all the time for no reason and start panicing when Im in public as I dont want anyone to see me. I cant stand being around other people, I just feel they are judging and laughing at me and I cant relax. I know Im weird. Im sick of people, why cant they just get over it when its me who has to live with it. The suicidal thoughts are back again, but this time I cant pinpoint what has set me off. Im just sick of myself, forever feeling anxious, and my pathetic life.

[KC]

Sorry to hear you feel bad again - i wonder if you stopped your meds too soon? May be you could see your GP again to have a chat about support and whether to start meds again. The worse thing is to sit and do nothing, so try to keep as busy as possible. Most of all, understand you are not alone and 100% normal. Do you have any good friends or family you can spend time with? As you seem to want to spend time alone, it may feel the hardest thing to do, but may be just short amounts of time with others will really help support you and take your mind off the depressive feelings etc.

By the way, today for some strange reason I just keep crying - very tricky as at work!!! Also, your feelings of wanting to isloate yourself ring true with me. I seem to spend most of the day at work alone in a room and having done this for some time, actually find it hard to spend time with colleagues. Probably another feature of depression.

Anyway, please be kind to yourself and I know there is loads of help about for us.

[Spagetti]

Hi KC,

Thanks for your kind words. Im sorry to hear you are feeling bad too.

I am feeling a little more positive today. I had a talk with my bf. He suffers from depression too so he understands what it is like. I didnt want to tell him as I dont like putting on him but he was more relieved than anything as he thought he had upset me, which wasnt the case.

I moved away a couple of years ago and dont have any friends here unfortunately. I find it hard to relate to people, especially when I am feeling down. I put a mask on so everyone thinks Im ok which is probably why I feel so embarrassed when I am tearful. It's silly really as I am always willing to try and help people who are upset but I am too ashamed to accept help from others myself.

Thank you for your advice, it is much appreciated. You wouldnt believe how hard I found it to write the post and it was good to know someone was willing to help x