I've reached breaking point

[B.B.M]

Back in 2006, I was diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety, in 2011, it remains, and is making no signs of going away. With no help and support, I'm alone in a losing battle.

My mother thinks this is all an excuse for me not to work or get a live, My sister is showing no interest, and the rest of my family, think it's laziness. Only one person has helped me, and that is my father, but he's tried everything, but it ended with nothing, heck..he has his own personal demons to conquer.

I don't have any clue what to do with my life. I have no ambitions, I'm afraid to interact, I'm afraid I won't wake up the next day, this isn't a life I remember having before 2006.

I can't take it anymore, the belittlement from my mother, being ignored by my sister, forcing my father to do everything, this is pathetic.

This is my last attempt to get help, Suicide has been going through my mind, for the last few weeks, But came into plan last wednesday. A pair of blinds fell down in my house, and I paniked and left the house, to escape my mother, not wanting her to tell me that I'm pathetic. I walked down a path, and came across a bridge....A bridge I remember from when I was young...I remembered when Me and my friends would make the river below our den, and hang out. When I was there, I told myself, If it came to that point, to return to this bridge, and set yourself free....Release yourself from this pain.

Heck...Many people I have known have...set themselves free.

All I want is help, But that is so much to ask for.

[Chem]

BBM I know exactly where you are but you do have the strength to get through this. By reaching out on here you're showing that you're not ready to give up yet.

Please see your doctor or call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90

or the NHS website lists alternative phone help and websites.
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Suicide...ting-help.aspx

I hope you find help soon.

[Idstain]

Hi BBM, i am so sorry you feel this way, i have been in a similar place and i know it's awful.

I know it doesn't feel like it now but life is worth living! change is possible in every single one of us and with the right help you will get your life back. Depression is a very common and well understood illness these days and there are many many ways you can get better. (books, therapy, meds etc)

Please give these a go and you should at least go and talk to your GP. i felt the same way about 18 months ago but for the past 12 months i have just been so grateful for every day. It'll take a bit of work and a bit of time but it will all be worth it, you'll be stronger for it too.

good luck x

[PanchoGoz]

Gosh I so know how you feel...alone. Guess we're both looking for answers right now. I feel annoyed too because I can't do anything, and it looks like lazyness.
Please don't do anything rash. I dunno about you but even though I feel like crap mostly, I still have my good days.
Try EVRYTHING is my advice. Something will help.
When you are in your darkest moment, everything seems warped and hopeless, but it is an illusion. There is hope.
DEATH IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM.

Tell ya what. We both feel pretty bad. Lets see who gets themselves better first. If I get better first, I will give you all my knowlege of how I did it, and you can do the same for me/us/the forum if you get better first. We will both get better, that is my loopy gaurantee.
GOOD LUCK!

[Paul Philips]

Try not to blame friends and relations for not understanding. Nobody can understand what it feels like unless they've been through it, and because of that the help they can offer you at this stage is limited. Follow Chem's guidelines and when you're feeling a bit more positive, ask them to educate themselves on your condition.
When you come through the other side, life is actually better than before and I'm sure all of the people who come through will tell you that its worth fighting through.

[B.B.M]

I want to Apologize for overeacting last night, I don't feel any suicidal intent and have no plans on ending my life. Apparently I was having a Panic Attack, and needed to vent myself in some form. I went to see my father this afternoon, where I told him about last night, so he managed to cheer me up, but this is all he can do. Tonight, my mother is over her boyfriend's place, so it's been a calm day for me.

I'm trying to think what might have occured my Panic Attack. All I remember from Last Night was my Mother waking up, noticing I was downstairs, which she proceeded to tell me, that I was keeping her up (I was on my Laptop at the time) and that I don't work, and was just lazy, when I was helping myself to some milk. I just wanted to throw my glass across the Kitchen. So I went back to my room, where I proceeded to Cry and breakdown, which lead to a Panic Attack, and just typed out what was on my mind at the time.

Could my Mother's belittlement of me, caused my Panic Attack? The Idea that I will never succeed in life, due to being told, I will never get a Job, and that no-one will employ me in the future...my mother talks alot about the future.

Thanks for the responses and all your help.

[uk23]

...mother thinks this is all an excuse for me not to work or get a live, My sister is showing no interest, and the rest of my family, think it's laziness...suicide has been going through my mind

Wow, all you need to do is say youre 24 and you are me!

If you would like to talk please message me, I can really relate to this.

[Anxious_gal]

Hey I have a similer family in the sense that they are nasty to me. I thought I'd link you to some of my posts, the first being when I was having a hard time>http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=88606

The next being the hope thread, http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=87711

I'd also highly recommend a book called when you and your mother can't be friends.

Do have any one outside of your family? for me my best friend has kept me sane, also because I know her family it gives me a sense if how family members should be treating each other.

your mother is emotionally abusing you, it seems your sister maybe have learned to treat you a certain way from your mother.
In my family I used to get on with my cousins but now most of them look down on me due to the gossip and watching how the adults treated me.

[Anxious_gal]

my family said to me, getting over agoraphobia is a easy as going for a walk

[kibbutz83]

Hi B.B.M, you sound like me a few years back, when I still lived at home. I left home 17 years ago, but the "babying" still continued. So 4 years ago I finally snapped, told my mother what I thought (which she still won't acknowledge) and cut her out of my life! I was forever the "frightened child" while she had that "hold" over me. She still talks to family about me behind my back (my 17 year old son visits her regularly), but now I'm getting better at ignoring it... although she's still able to make me feel guilty for breathing some days :( I think as long as you are under her roof, you cannot feel free? I discovered through therapy that I was totally co-dependant, and still am to a degree... I just kind of learned to understand my problems a bit better, which makes them much easier to cope with...