Intrusive thoughts/jealousy?

[TeaLavender]

I do have intrusive thoughts, but the thing is that I don't get scared with some. I often wonder, "Because I don't feel anxious or depressed, does it mean that my thoughts are real??" I'm always thinking about who my next boyfriend will be and hoping that he doesn't have the same qualities I dislike in my current boyfriend. When I thought about it at that moment, I didn't seem to care, but now as I read what I typed I feel terrible.. I don't have a reason for why I think like that. Sometimes I wonder if I can just get on with my life and hurry up and break up with him because "there's no point" in being with him, and my heart-break will mend faster the sooner I end it with him. I know I like him, I really do. I care for him. My ROCD has gotten less severe, but it still takes a toll on me. Yesterday he was joking around on our 7-month and he said, "My girlfriend doesn't have the same taste in music as me!!" and on the outside I laughed and said, "Shut up!" but on the inside I was a wreck, thinking that we weren't perfect, obsessing about how we were so "different", and wondering if his next girlfriend would like the same music as him and if they would be a happy couple blah blah blah... So just because I have intrusive thoughts does it mean that it's real? I also have my voices in my head that whenever I'm talking to a guy on Facebook or in real life, my voices say, "Make your boyfriend jealous." and of course I've learned to shrug it off, as I've never acted on my intrusive thoughts before, but why? Why do I think that?

Also my jealousy mixed with anxiety and ROCD gets pretty intense. Yesterday when my boyfriend and I were at Costco, I saw him look at a pretty girl and I felt so ugly, so pathetic. Actually the whole time we were in the damn place I was scanning around to see if there were any pretty girls around us. I kept looking and her, wondering how pretty she was and looking at my boyfriend, wondering if he was still looking at that pretty girl. I couldn't take my thoughts anymore and I just walked away by myself to get some space and try to convince myself that checking out other people was natural. I was hurt, my self-confidence was bruised, and I was jealous. I don't know if this is just a personal issue, but I just don't like how he looks at me the same way he looks at other girls. Where is the true meaning about how special I am? I see a lot of emotions in his eyes but I never see how he looks at me the way that (I hate to say) I want to. Help please?

[sunset30]

Hey Tea lavender

Your not a lone there i get it. Thought it was just me. I think out of respect for his partners who should not do that. But i was told that i am controling when say how i feel about it and jealous to my partner. I find it quite upsetting to when my fella does that but not sure weather its my in built think where i dont trust men. But no its not nice and i think its a really rude if a man does that. I dont do it so i dont do it out of respect for my fella so he shouldnt . Mat be talk to you fella on how it makes you feel . You not alone on this chick. I feel the same too.x

[lucy devine]

i know exactly how you are feeling there hun :(
my boyfriend told me that he saw his ex girlfriend at the train station the other day, she said hello and that was it.
However, him just seeing her made me so paranoid that he didn't love me and I started obsessing over every little detail of how he felt when he saw her, how he said hello, what was she wearing, did they hug, did he think about her afterwards etc
It really got to me and made me wonder why he was with me etc etc
I really don't think you having anxiety problems should of made your boyfriend behave like he did, its no excuse for him to cheat. You haven't done anything wrong in all of this so try not to beat yourself up so much about it.
I hope you feel better soon
xxx lucy xxx