Getting easily irritated and annoyed

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Hi all,

I've had a look through the forum for any other mentions of this but can't see anything.

I find myself getting irritated by things very rapidly and it's becoming a problem. The things that annoy me are repetitive noises that I have little control over, I can deal with most, but my main issue is where I work. I sit on a bank of 4 desks and at some point of the day but pretty much throughout the day each one of the other 3 people will be tapping their desk, tapping their computer mouse, clicking a pen on and off, creating inane noises through their mouth or muttering to themselves. The problem it creates for me is that it breaks my concentration immediately and I can hear nothing else but the noise that they’re making and I find it very difficult to get it out of my head. I get very frustrated by this. It actually makes me feel like throwing something at them to make them aware of it and to shut them up, but obviously I never would.
I have asked them to stop which they do for a while but before I know it it’s started again. So clearly asking them to stop is pointless. Plus I find it very stressful and uncomfortable to ask these people to stop what they are doing.

I don’t want to sound like some crank because I’m not suggesting they should sit there and not make any sound whatsoever. Whenever they’re having a conversation about their work I generally don’t hear them, it doesn’t bother me and I can concentrate.

Once when I asked them to stop the pen clicking I got the response ‘I don’t realise I’m doing it, it helps me concentrate’ Oh the irony.... And I say, ‘I can’t concentrate, it distracts me from doing my work’. Now bear in mind that on my bank of desks sits my boss. You’d really think they’d know better, but clearly is oblivious.


One thing I could do to ease this problem would be to wear headphones, but the company I work at doesn’t allow them (something to do with how they look, I don’t know, crazy if you ask me!). Someone suggested wearing earplugs or putting cotton wool in my ears but I’m just not prepared to do that.

The only thing I can think of doing is pleading to wear headphones. But that presents the uncomfortable situation of having to explain why I need to wear them.

Can anyone suggest anything or does anyone else experience anything like this?

I should mention that I'm taking med for anxiety and mild depression.

Thanks

[Anxious_gal]

How many people do you sit near?
people who pen click etc... don't know they are doing it, it's become a habit.
There's pretty much nothing you can do unless you sit them down for a serious conversation.
If your the only one who's bothered by it you may not really have any options, but wear ear plugs or maybe sit somewhere else?
Maybe you could say you want head phone because your overly sensitive to sound? That way no one gets offended.

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I know that these are bad habits...

As I said, I won't be wearing earplugs.

There are more people sat nearby in the office. As far as I'm aware they are not bothered by it. They however may have a higher concentration threshold than me.

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Has anyone else any ideas on coping with this?

Thanks

[blueangel]

I'm just trying to think if there's anything I can suggest. I'm supporting someone at work at the moment who has exactly the same problem as you (I'm a union rep) and has problems concentrating when there is background noise.

I've picked my ex-husband's brains about this (he's an audiologist) and evidently the most common cause for this is stress and anxiety; our hearing becomes more acute when we're full of adrenaline, as it's part of the "fight or flight" response. Also, concentration is naturally lower when we're anxious anyway, also down to the hormone levels in our bodies.

I've got a number of suggestions, but I don't know whether any of them will work in your office space. They are:

* try asking whether you can be moved to a quieter corner of the office
* asking for a special dispensation to wear headphones - if you explain that improved concentration will help your standard of work, then they might buy that one
* finding out where there is any chance that you could have any sort of partitioning in the office - they're not perfect, but they do reduce sound
* earplugs - I know you're not keen on them, but they do reduce sound by approximately 20 decibels, which can make a big difference
* consider having a bash at meditation or mindfulness as they can be good at helping people deal with irritability

I know none of these solutions are brilliant, but maybe one of them will help a bit.

Cheers
Blueangel

I've just had a thought - if always have problem with background noise or finding noise too loud in general, it might be worth getting your hearing checked out. There are a couple of (non-serious) conditions which are a possibility, but they're both quite unusual and this is a bit of a long shot.

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Thanks blueangel for taking the time to reply.

That’s interesting to know about anxiety and hearing, I wasn’t aware that hearing becomes more acute when we’re anxious or full of adrenaline. Though it does make a lot of sense.

My hearing has always been quite precise and I’m usually aware of things going on around me and of other people’s conversations (even though I don’t make it known!). I rarely ‘zone out’ as some seem able to unless I’m reading something that’s of particular interest to me (of course never work related.)

I have spoken with my doctor just recently about this. It would seem that irritability is a known side effect of a med I’m taking. So the med could be making it worse. I’ve decided to try it for a little longer in the hope it will settle. It is at work that it bothers me the most the feeling of helplessness or powerless is probably making it worse.

I feel my only real solution would be to wear headphones as at least that way I will have another noise I can either listen to or so that it’s a pleasant background noise and not unwanted noises. I did try it once when all the managers were out (it’s the boss that doesn’t like us wearing them – easy for him to say in his office) and I did find that it helped. In previous jobs I’ve been able to wear them so it’s really here that it’s become more apparent.

I’ll look up problems with ears and hearing – thanks for this, it’s definitely worth a shot. And I’m going to try some breathing techniques.

Thanks again for your advice.