I've had a pretty good three weeks or so, culminating last Friday when my psychiatric nurse told me I was well on the way to overcoming my anxiety and that I no longer needed to make appointments with her.
I felt great after that, like I was on my way to recovery.
Over the past couple of weeks I have noticed that my most depressing symptom of anxiety, depersonalisation, was starting to fade away and I was becoming more like my old self.
But now I think the fact that I don't have a counsellor to talk to anymore, and I'm all on my own again trying to deal with my anxiety has really scared me, and I think I'm back to square one.
Recently, whenever I've felt a random pain in my body somewhere I've managed to dismiss it as nothing and just carry on doing whatever I was doing like a normal person, but then last night I was woke up by a really dull pain in my back, immediately I started checking for lumps and all sorts of things, worrying about cancer, and I know how stupid that sounds!
Today the pain has came and went, and still I'm worrying that perhaps I have tumour growing on my spine or something, I keep telling myself what the odds of that were almost zero, but still I worry, and most depressing of all my depersonalisation seems to be returning.
Its just so frustrating that I have felt almost back to normal recently and now I've relapsed, am I going to be like this forever?