So frustrated with myself!

[Rhys1879SAFC]

I've had a pretty good three weeks or so, culminating last Friday when my psychiatric nurse told me I was well on the way to overcoming my anxiety and that I no longer needed to make appointments with her.

I felt great after that, like I was on my way to recovery.

Over the past couple of weeks I have noticed that my most depressing symptom of anxiety, depersonalisation, was starting to fade away and I was becoming more like my old self.

But now I think the fact that I don't have a counsellor to talk to anymore, and I'm all on my own again trying to deal with my anxiety has really scared me, and I think I'm back to square one.

Recently, whenever I've felt a random pain in my body somewhere I've managed to dismiss it as nothing and just carry on doing whatever I was doing like a normal person, but then last night I was woke up by a really dull pain in my back, immediately I started checking for lumps and all sorts of things, worrying about cancer, and I know how stupid that sounds!

Today the pain has came and went, and still I'm worrying that perhaps I have tumour growing on my spine or something, I keep telling myself what the odds of that were almost zero, but still I worry, and most depressing of all my depersonalisation seems to be returning.

Its just so frustrating that I have felt almost back to normal recently and now I've relapsed, am I going to be like this forever?

[Idstain]

Hi Rhys,

have you read any books on anxiety? "Self help for your nerves" by Dr Claire Weekes was a godsend for me as was the one below in my signature.

You won't be like this forever mate, you've already seen big improvements so you know what is possible. Ups and downs are a normal part of recovery and as bad as it feels now just do your best in every moment to accept what is happening now as a completely natural process.

Good luck

P.S. please check out those books! the reviews alone on amazon.co.uk should cheer you up

[Rhys1879SAFC]

Thanks mate, having one of them days again today, existential anxiety is so annoying.

[Tyke]

Hi Rhys

You probably just need time to adjust to life again without your professional support. As Idstain states, Claire Weekes books are excellent for self-help. Try and keep yourself as busy as possible to reduce the time you spend on your own worrying. Are there friends or people in your family who you can share this with as support from others is always good to have, especially when counselling finishes. There is always NMP of course, the forum and the chatroom etc. Are there also any self-help groups in your area that might be worth going to?

You will feel better I am sure if you feel you can make some positive steps yourself now that counselling is over. Try and see this as good progress rather than worrying that you won't cope. You can cope and you will, you just need to work out what strategies will now suit you best.

Tyke
Tyke

[Rhys1879SAFC]

Thanks Tyke.

I honestly don't want to ring her up to make another appointment but I just don't feel too good at the moment.

[MatthewH]

If your struggling with it, go back and see the doctor. It is frustrating, but theres no point undoing all the hard work and setting yourself back at this point! Youve done extremely well, and i hope one day i can feel like im getting back to normal!