keeping it all in!

[debbsi]

Hi
I notice when i read posts that many people say how their family either supports them, puts up with them etc

Thing is I dont really tell my family my worries cos i'm actually embarassed that i am this way and i think it will make me look weak. In conversation last year i mentioned my anxiety to my OH and he said he didnt even know i have it!!!!

Is anyone else like this?

[Lindy]

I tell my OH and friends, but less so my family. They know about it, but I seldom give them details, yet as a family we are quite close, I just don't think they can really understand what it is or its like. As long as you are telling someone you are close to, I think that's the main thing....though shouldn't your OH be one of them!?!

Not telling anyone at all and keeping it all in can take a lot of energy, and irrespective of the type of feelings, it can be really draining, for me at least, anyway

[Spidergirl]

Hi Debs,

I'm scared of my familys reaction, there's been a complete relationship break down with them to the point I barely see them. I miss them a lot but I am scared I will hurt them, my problem is they are one of my upset triggers. I don't think in my situation its just because I have overreacted. Back to topic of conversation, people generally give me special treatment after I've told them and the best way for me to feel stable is to be treated normally. Unless you really want to tell them and your happy to I'd say don't. We all do things in our own time and you know your situation best and whether they'll accept you. Hope this helps

[evil monkey]

Only my parents.

I had PA symptoms for years and couldnt explain them and only found out what they were 6 months ago from here. Most of my close m8s gave up on me during the past 2-3 years (because ive barely spoken to anyone being jobless, for the reasons you said x) for whatever reason and arent interested anymore. I dont know if I'm expecting too much thinking friends/ppl might care, or if most people just arent interested in it. I have a very hard time with it sometimes. which is why i dont talk to a lot of people. ted from scrubs has some of it.

[Tyke]

Hi Debs

I'm pretty much like this. I only really tell my OH and even then, not everything. I try and make a judgement beforehand on how I think people will react which usually means keeping it to myself. As Spidergirl states, people treat you differently if they know, and that isn't always what you want. As far as work is concerned, I don't want them treating me differently, sidelining me, giving me the worst jobs because they think I won't cope with any responsibility. With friends I can give a little more away, but not much. My parents never really understood either, so I gave up trying with them in the end.

You're certainly not on your own Debs.

Tyke

[laineystod1]

Mine is so bad I cant hide it. It affects my life so much it would be impossible to not tell OH. It stops me doing things as a family,even the small things like going to the supermarket I wish i was able to hide it sometimes as at least then I wouldnt see the disappointed look in my hubbys eyes when I say sorry, i cant come to the park/shop/beach with you and the kids..

[debbsi]

Interesting to read everyone replies - I did tell me OH a few years ago then I ended up in A&E with a panic attack but dont get those so much now, I just dont think he understands and when the feedback I got from his was to pull myself together i just avoid telling him anymore - even though all i ever wanted was for him to give me a cuddle and tell me everything would be ok!!

My mum understands as both her, my dad and my grandma are the same - didnt really stand a chance of escaping this did it - which is why i try to hide it from my children as i dont want them to be the same.

[Elen]

My friends know a lot of what goes on but when I really need support I have a few great friends on here.

It is good because they understand what I am going through without me having to explain.

It works both ways though I am there to support them when they are struggling.

My advice is to hang on in here and you will find people that you can trust.

All the best.

Elen

[debbsi]

i think you hit the nail on the head there Elen xx

[Elen]

Debs come and join us in chat, you will find loads of people that you can relate to there.

Elen