Sexual intrusive thoughts

[runner bean]

Hey Ben,
I know exactly what you are going through. When it first started happening to me I wanted to die because I thought it was the only way I could get rid of the part of my brain that was throwing these things up.

Well..I can tell you I've just had a baby girl, she's 8weeks and she's gorgeous. I love her to bits but unfortunately the thoughts get me sometimes when I am giving baby a bath or doing a nappy. Its utterly horrible but I keep telling myself that thoughts are NOT actions. It does seem horribly real when the thought comes in but I tell you what I do...I hug my baby closer, kiss her face and tell the thought to get stuffed. You know you are not a paedophile, if you were you wouldn't be telling everyone about your thoughts! You wouldn't be on panic websites, you would not feel distressed...I know it's hard to remember this when a thought comes over you...I know how panicked I got only this morning....I just hugged my baby close and although I felt horrible for a few minutes eventually it passed and she fell asleep on me for an hour and it was lovely.

I love my baby so much and am totally gutted that this happens to me. The psychiatric people basically told me to go home and deal with it myself with the help of friends and family (it's best to tell people even though it is hard to do) so I'm feeling a bit like it's never going to get better but I have another docs appointment this afternoon so I'm going to ask him about cognitive behavioural therapy or just see if he has any suggestions.

Who knows why we suffer such horrific afflictions of the mind eh?

But at least you know you are not alone Ben. Hope this helps.

Runner Bean xxx

[RATFINK]

Hi i,ve suffered the same as you, so your not alone it just shows what a nice person you are because you hate the thoughts they make you worry... I had these thoughts before my daughter was born and it was horrific for me i would rather die than harm her. the worry the dread your suffering i feel for you its horrendous, biggest steps youve done is go to doctors and on here, i can asure you...you are not alone. thanks brian

[KaoticKutie]

I agree with people here.. you are not a paedophile, because they actually believe that having sex with children is ok, and enjoy the thoughts.. and would not be in distress over them like you are.

And it took a lot of courage to talk about your intrusive thoughts as many wouldn't.. as they would be afraid.

I think bottom line is if you have a disturbing thought and it bothers you, sickens you, THEN it is intrusive and you are not sick or demented.. IF you have those thoughts and you enjoy them and act of them.. then you are sick and twisted

[banana23]

Hi everyone,

I literally cannot explain how happy I am to have read this all. Everything I have read here only confirms to me that I am not mad, not a pedophile and not going to kill my whole family. I knew I never wanted to act on the disgusting thoughts that came into my head about children but nothing I could do would ever make them go away. I kept telling myself that I would rather kill myself than ever touch a child like that. I am almost crying now because I am so relieved, and I actually for the first time feel strong enough to talk about what i've been going through for years with my mum and move onto getting some help.

Does anyone have any tips for approaching this subject with family members?

Thank you all so much again

[Beckybooboo]

Hi Banana,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this.

With regards to your thoughts, I am glad that you found the help and support on this forum suffice.

I think that in order to approach the subject with your family, or whoever else that you are close too you need to really look into the situation accordingly and gain as much information as possible before you proceed, unfortunately, some people who aren't going through this are unable to understand the situation.

I know how difficult it can be as I went through something very similar and I too, was scared of how people would perceive what I was telling them; but what they need to understand is that due to where you are mentally at the moment, these things are to be expected.

There are a lot of useful websites online including this one that will give you a lot of information of approaching your family on this matter and also tips of how to approach the situation.

I wish you all the best of luck,
Becky

[jamesneutron]

I am new to the forum so not sure if Im posting this in the right place but I am desperate for help.

A couple of months ago i started university and had a terrible time. I was so upset about where I was living and felt so lonely in student accommodation. I got myself really worked up over it all and eventually told my mum how I was feeling and suggested I moved home.

Whilst I was at uni and in the worrying state of mind I started to have sexual thoughts about children which absolutely killed me and I felt like I had nothing to live for. What worried me the most was that in my mind I felt and still have this feeling that babies/young girls vaginas are better than older womens because they are not saggy and dont have any pubic hair. This thought drives me crazy because as much as I dont want to have this opinion I still have it!

This thought has to be based purely on imagination as I have never done anything sexual with a girl before so I havent actually seen a girls vagina in real life, or a babies. So im not sure how I can compare the two?!

I am also confused about my sexuality as I am interested in boys and girls but i feel like i could never do anything with a girl because of the way their vaginas look. i even find myself saying that i wish older girls had vaginas like young girls and babies, however i have never seen one so how do i know they are better! :(:(

this is getting me so down and i have thought about suicide and if it would help.
any help really would be appreciated, i dont know what to do. Are these unwanted thoughts telling me that i would prefer sex with a minor?