Sexual intrusive thoughts

[Soler]

Yep, I did and it helped a bit.

Like I wanted to volunteer for the NSPCC, but this has stopped me because I fear that if I look at a child below there neck, I'm doing something wrong (even though I know I'm not?) if that made sense. So when I'm in a busy area where this is children I always keep my head high or the other way.

I would never wish this upon my worst enemy as it's the worst thing I've ever gone through (and my best friend came close to dying from cancer).

[shoegal]

I know this is extremely distressing for you but you can get over this with the right help. I think you will need CBT to help you control you unwanted thoughts, but your Dr will decide what is best as he/she will know your history.

[Soler]

Can I ask you how highly success rate CBT is? and what does it do?


I hate that my mind/thoughts are trying to convince me I'm something i'm not.

[jillybean]

Hi Soler,
So sorry to hear how you ve been suffering with this. I totally understand what you re going through, my son was diagnosed with OCD at age 16 (he s now 25), he had many intrusive thoughts which were extremely upsetting for him at the beginning. The thing with OCD is that when you deal with one thought, another completely different one usually replaces it. CBT has taught him how to deal with it and how to break the cycle. He also takes Flouoxetine daily which is an anti depressant, he now manages the OCD and it no longer rules his life. He is anxious by nature as I am, thats why Im on this site! I have my own anxiety issues lol!! I was worried sick just like your mum, but please take heart and know that you can overcome this. Please tell your doc, he ll be very sympathetic, you dont even have to be specific about your thoughts if you dont wish to. Just tell him they re very distressing.

Wishing you well!
Jillybean.

[Soler]

Hi Soler,
So sorry to hear how you ve been suffering with this. I totally understand what you re going through, my son was diagnosed with OCD at age 16 (he s now 25), he had many intrusive thoughts which were extremely upsetting for him at the beginning. The thing with OCD is that when you deal with one thought, another completely different one usually replaces it. CBT has taught him how to deal with it and how to break the cycle. He also takes Flouoxetine daily which is an anti depressant, he now manages the OCD and it no longer rules his life. He is anxious by nature as I am, thats why Im on this site! I have my own anxiety issues lol!! I was worried sick just like your mum, but please take heart and know that you can overcome this. Please tell your doc, he ll be very sympathetic, you dont even have to be specific about your thoughts if you dont wish to. Just tell him they re very distressing.

Wishing you well!
Jillybean.

Thanks, it gives me heart known that someone with something similar has got control of it.

It's an absolute killer that the thoughts try to convince you are something you're not, especially when the thoughts are "your attracted to that child.." and I tell myself I'm not which makes the thought worse, I need to learn to stop fighting it, but who wouldn't when a thought is trying to say you are something you are disgusted by and fear of becoming. I then ask myself "What if I am capable of this?" even though I'm not, which makes my anxiety really bad. When I see a picture with a child in it, my anxiety gets really bad and is like "you're doing something horrible" even though I know I'm not.

Only time I get peace is when I sleep and even then I'm scared of having a nightmare about it.

I'm going to talk to my doctor tomorrow about CBT, I hope it helps if my doctor lets me have it.

[jillybean]

A true paeodophile wouldnt think its disgusting, that s why I believe you re certainly NOT one. You re completely normal except for extreme anxiety, and that does weird things to us. Thats why we re all on this site! Remember it.

Take care! Jillybean

[Soler]

Does intrusive thoughts/OCD play tricks with your mind? Like I know I'm not attracted to children because the thought of it distresses me, and my anxiety goes off the rickter scale when I think of it. but the thoughts make it seem that I am?

So does your intrusive thoughts play tricks with you and make it feel like you are something you're not?

That scares the crap out of me, I know I'm not but it seems my mind is playing tricks with me.

[shoegal]

Yes intrusive thoughts play tricks on your mind because you are in an anxious state so the thoughts frighten you. Basically the anxiety is making you obsess over a thought you find unpleasant. Being obesessed with a thought does not make it 'real'.

[Soler]

Ahh, I got really scared earlier as I was watching the movie 'orphan' not sure if you've seen it but when I was watching it, this re-occuring thought came into my mind like "Your attracted to her" and I had such bad anxiety, I just said to myself "no im not!!!" which is probably the worst thing to do because fighting it feeds it, right?

I swear the mind is a powerful thing, giving me a horrible thought that I'm attracted to a child and trying to convince me I am, even though I know I'm not.

Thank god, it was my mind playing tricks with me because THAT thought seriously freaks me out.

Going to speak with my doctor tomorrow about getting me CBT therapy

[shoegal]

I'm not sure whether fighting the thoughts feeds them, but being scared of them certainly makes them worse! When I get an unwanted or frightening thought I say to myself 'So what if I'm thinking that, it's just a thought and it can't hurt me' or 'I'm just tired and my mind is playing tricks on me' or 'My thoughts won't come true just because they popped into my head' or 'Everybody has funny thoughts sometimes, I'm just thinking about them too much because I'm stresssed' etc.

Good luck with your Dr's appointment tomorrow. Explain that your intrusive thoughts are seriously affecting your life to the extent that you are avoiding situations for fear of you thoughts coming true (you don't have to say what they are if you are embarassed) and ask whether anti-depressants would also be useful to you because you do have an anxiety disorder. Also explain that you can't even watch a movie without the unwanted thoughts frightening you. It might help if you write a list of the ways in which it affects you because most people don't remember everything they want to say during their appointment.