Where to go from here?

[Swallowtail]

Hi - I have just registered and do not know how to fix myself?
My GP has diagnosed me with Anxiety, I was diagnosed with Stress Depression over 6 years ago, no off meds, and manage with herbal remedies. I am having a bad time with a friend of whom I was advised to distance myself from, I did, but it is hard we have been firends for over 12 years, and stay very near to each other in the same small village. She has been described as Toxic, jealous, social butterfly, she freely admists to enjoying being the centre of attention, and I now see and recall times when she has been manipulative and unkind in her comments. When I have been in a low period, she takes a back seat, then when I am starting to feel better, she asks "well are you feeling beter now?" the last time she said good then I need to have a chat , and proceeded to drag up things from the past until she had me in tears, told me that her other friends think we see each other all the time, and that she put them right that we only see it other for less than 30 mins so many times a week! then hugged me and told me she was my friend and was there for me, I felt physically battered by the time I got home. I just cannot stop talking about it all, and worry that people are talking about me, that I am a bad person. What do I do, I feel like I am going crazy!

[blueangel]

Well, it sounds to me that a good place to start would be to go back and see your GP. He/she can give you some support (which doesn't necessarily have to mean medication), and could refer you for counselling if you feel that would be helpful.

Your "friend" sounds utterly selfish and in my humble opinion you're well shot of her; I suspect there's a lot of other people who would feel the same way about it.

try to take things one step at a time - sort out your own head first, and then deal with the social issues. Even in a small village, I'll bet there are other people out there who would be far more interesting to know.

good luck!

[Swallowtail]

Thank you Blueangel, I am very aware that what I am telling is my side of things, and there is always two sides, but as a very close friend said to me what has been going on lately is like "kids in a playground" and unfortunalty the problem friend went off to this friend and relayed part of a conversation that we had had that morning, missing some key content. I am very annoyed at her for dragging another friend into this as I have tried not to involve her as she is very sweet and I do not want her to feel in an awkward position between us. I have had a good think about things and spoke to someone at Breathing Space at the weekend, and I am leaving the playground. I am going to look into some sort of counselling. As much as I have made the decision to get away from all this, it is staill playing heavily on my mind, it pops into my head when I wake and intermitently through out the day, I need to learn how to move on and forget.

[happycamper]

Hi Swallowtail,
Welcome to the forum, hope you find it as helpful and supportive as I have.
In my humble opinion and from what I've learned in recent months, you must put your own needs first, if somebody whoever it is, is causing you so much emotional distress long term, then being brave and distancing yourself on a more permanent basis really is crucial for your mental wellbeing and that is the most important thing.
Best Wishes. x

[Swallowtail]

Thank you Happycamper, I have had a good day today - focused on work, and home. I have my first counselling session tomorrow afternoon. I am taking a positive approach. I just have an event with this friend to get through in a couple of weeks, unfortunately I cannot get out of it, hopefully my session tomorrow will help deal with that and moving on. I know that this friendship is now the whole problem, but I have never felt like this in my life before.