here i am again,2.50am and not a wink of sleep,this being the 3rd time this week im totaly exausted,had the palps and heart bangs all week,anxiety at an all time high,edgey,whirling head thoughts,shakes ,cant relax,you name its here,up untill 5wks ago i was doing realy good then bam! its all back with a vengance panic,anxiety,im sick of living with this,my life isnt my own its been taken over by all the rotten symptoms,i cant go out without feeling paranoid,thinking everyones staring at me ,talking about me so i stay in most days and cry because i feel a freak,its got me living in fear,up untilll 5wks ago i did 9mths no smoking,till all this started again and im back on the cigs again,i feel so bad about it,i want to quit again but this wont let me!!my lifes in tatters.Ihave a lovely family with nice things around me and yet im so un happy nothing makes me happy anymore,im living a nightmare is anyone experiencing the same?,will this pass and will i ever feel normal?. Im not coping at all,not living,just exsisting!! i hate myself for being brave and letting this control me.