Hey there, what a day, started fine until i hit this evening, had a major argument with my girlfriend because she is selfish, self centred i hate her, yet love her, then when things dont get much further down for me, i found my pet hamster stone cold, and curled up in her cage, what have i done wrong for this? some say its natural but i truly believe that its fate for something i have done wrong to someone/something....then as if it aint gonna go anyworse, i self harmed again, to punish myself for breaking my girlfriends heart, i hate being like this, i just wanna be locked away from everything in a hospital, so i can think, all the hospital and gp says is, "we'll get you in for a psycho-therepist"...yeah fine except there is a 1 month+ waiting list, what good is that, when you are cracking up, and how far do i have to go to prove that fact, when everyone thinks your ok? I hate the person i have become, all i have ever wanted to do is fit in, and be "normal" now i am at the stage where i dont see an end, because i have forgotten what it was like "before". I am tempted to "stage" a suicide attempt just to get the attention i need, because no matter how much i explain my story, no one gets how i feel..... i hate myself for that i hurt and destroy, i am a waste of human skin, bones & more importantly a waste of life.
Rian951