New member-feelings of unreality

[Velma66]

Hi
I am new to this site but not new to anxiety & depression! My current episode started about 6 months ago & has been the worst ever. I am improving (taking 100mg sertraline & seeing therapist) but it's a very slow process.

I've found this site such a comfort-all these strange feelings I have, I've been so anxious that I'm going mad, but when I looked on this site & saw I'm not the only one, I cried with relief! So good to read that others understand & I'm not alone.
It's so hard to describe what it all feels like but people on this forum have put it into words for me. The most distressing symptom I have (along with many others) is a feeling of unreality-I feel like this most of the time & it's awful-I feel like I'm in a dream & nothing looks "familiar" any more-even my own home, which I have always felt safe in-I find this so upsetting-it's like I'm functioning but not really here. Has anyone else had this? I don't know if it's the medication or my anxiety? I'd be grateful for any advice/reassurance as I'm finding this very distressing-will it go or will I have this forever? I feel dizzy & spaced out a lot too

[steveh31]

Derealization is so scary I describe it as looking through a window all the time I hope it goes quickly for you.

[nomorepanic]

Hi Velma66

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi and welcome to NMP
Paige x

[MinnieMouse]

Hi Velma

I know exactly how you feel. I am feeling very detached at the moment and it's scary but I also find it really hard to explain to someone about how weird it really is. I get so frustrated and I feel like it takes me a million times longer to do the simplest of tasks. I have a two year old daughter and it's exhausting trying to focus on 'reality' but floating around in my own little bubble. I suffer from health anxiety which was only triggered after having my child but I had a really bad day yesterday and ended up going to the out of hours emergency place to have someone give me some reassurance as I couldn't stop crying and every move or action I made was highlighting my feelings of detachment. I have got my first neurology appointment this Thursday and my anxiety is at a high as I am worried they will find that I actually do have something other than anxiety! Anyway I went to see this lovely doctor and she was so thoughtful and explained everything thoroughly and gave me a few examinations to ease my fears. She told me that the derealization is the way my body is protecting me from my higly anxious state. She was so much better than my own GP - I didn't feel rushed and I felt like I was taken seriously. She even told me that she had spent a lot of time with a poor lady who was so detached she thought she was dead and she said it took some time to get her to believe she was alive and well!!!
Do you feel slow mentally too? I can't make any decisions and even simple requests from my husband are really daunting. He asked if I could peel some potatoes earlier and he may as well have asked me to climb a mountain. I also wake up exhausted and ache as if I have flu. I'd be interested to know how you find the medication as I am only taking 10mg propranolol a day which is too try and lessen the anxiety. I am hoping my symptoms ease after the appointment. It's shattering!!!
The only suggestion I would make is to try and 'keep tabs' on reality as much as possible. I try to read or watch a documentary. I also find that I am not as spaced out when speaking to someone on the phone or in person so if you can manage it - keep in contact with your friends as much as you can.

Good luck

MMx

[Velma66]

Thank you all for yr replies-it really helps to know that others out there understand-I'm so glad I found this site-it's been so reassuring, I've had a really good look through & all the things I've been experiencing have been mentioned many times by other members-it's helped so much to understand what's happening to me & I'm not going nuts!
I had no idea the unreality feeling is derealisation-I must admit now I know what it is, today my fear of it has lessened slightly and although it's very unpleasant I have coped with it a little better.
MM I too am very slow mentally, I'm better
than I was 3 months ago-at that stage I
couldn't make a decision about whether to
have a drink of water or not! And yes, I also
felt like I had flu, couldn't always get out of
bed, cried constantly & had many trips to
A&E, GP etc but I promise you it does get
better. I won't lie to you, it takes time and a
lot of effort and I know I've still got a way to
go but you will improve.

I do think the sertraline has helped, it took time to kick in & the side effects
aren't nice (I still experience some) but I personally feel they have helped. At the beginning of this I was taking 75mg of propanalol and 150mg of sertraline
and I just couldn't move (physically or mentally)which just added to my
anxiety-it takes time to get your meds right. After time you will get some
energy back and then the day to day tasks don't feel like such a mountain. And yes it's normal to find it all exhausting, even if you've got the motivation to do any task I wasn't always to do it physically. I don't get quite as tired bit I have to rest a lot.

I'm glad you found a decent doctor to explain things to you too, getting help is the first step to recovery-there are some v unsympathetic GPs out there with v little knowledge of this condition.
It's easy for me to say but hang on in there, have a good look through this
site cos it's amazing! It has helped me loads- Take care of yourself